Fruit

The orchard knows:
we are not feeling this
the world is not
falling in on itself
trying to understand
why it hates the sinner
and loves the sin

Forget the Union, Jack
the scabs you've flicked
are growing right back
checking themselves in to stay
I am always A-1/Ace/FlyingHigh/FreeandFine/OK

you've left me plum
juice drops like
quiet bruises on my skin
At least, that's what
a loving hand would be
instead of my mimicking vine
I think all of this
to certain death:

You are not the heat
I want to push on, the
weight I want to lift, that
invading-filling piece
struggling towards a
mini-apocalypse in the sheets
but you will do for now

No sabes como te has metido
...this good?
Since I was born
There are crows
swimming in the reservoir
black-bear black backstroking through white
my hair tracing diagrams on your chest
you can neither
understand nor remove

Athena knows what it's like
to have this sight
from birth we come marching
to the edge of psychosis
hold hands and
dip our necks in
spit-and-shine
clean the swine
fill our nostrils
slick with brine

we are not kind women
but we are the kind
who choke on love
and swing through puppet lives
watching each other
give accidental tugs
as we weave our
shimmering strings.

You've left me peach
swollen with emptiness
coreless, stemless
Try to keep my juice
my stain
on your lips and skin
but I am pull-the-root
float-the-river
jump-the-vine
ripe to fall

~~~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~~~

Handmade Demons

I want to be insane.

To feel that slow,
sensuous
unraveling
of sanity.

I want terrifying visions to assault me,
swirling their bright colors and
bucking their sharp limbs
like rabid carousel horses.

I want to hear mouthless voices
ricocheting along the halls of my brain.

Maybe then, when I am beyond all hope,
you will not run when I approach you.
Gamboling, strutting, glorying
in my hard-won psychosis.

Will you let me hold you then?
I imagine you admiring the bitter cold I wear.
Reveling in the docile nature
of my touch

When I have lost all reason
you will find endless reasons
to love me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~~~~~

Devotion, Sublimated

I am a being of magnitude, the Sun,
Epicenter of your world's
entire fucking universe.
Your only source of illumination.

The Heavenly Bodies all go insane,
those that no longer light up
the Void like a frozen bonfire.
Blazes without irises to corrupt.

A Star is made to give luminescence,
to be a brilliant, spinning god.
Worshipped and blessed for allowing
light to shine in your miserable life.

Every adoring glance that kisses
its proud Aura fuels its fire.
But when the reverent gazes wane
it knows Extinction is imminent.

What does a Star have left, if not
the power to irradiate your Soul, to
uncover all your weak flaws and
trivial darkest secrets?

Only the chemical reactions,
the fusion and destruction
of volatile, unstable thoughts
seething beneath the Surface.

Until the outer layers lose control.
Like lava pushing from core to crust
the need to be your only Deity
breaches the limits of this star.

And the Madness pours forth,
cascading from my shining lips.
A comet-ridden ring of frenzied words
hangs in the windless air.

With eyes horribly wild,
dark as unoccupied Space,
I explode, my vengeance
giving birth to a Black Hole.

Where the image of your final torture
will be caught forever, held for my
pleasure, as a reminder to survivors:
All gods require sacrifices.

And a deranged god demands so little.
Only your Devotion, sublimated
scalding the soft flesh of your mouth
as you chant my unending praise.

Your burning, near-blind eyes
turning again and again
to meet the painful radiance
of my cold, magnificent face.

A necklace of carved bone beads
adorned with a thousand Suns -
a reminder of my merciless rage -
clutched in your feverish hand.

~~~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~~~

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Marred

Three
jagged
points
three
smooth
sides
A weightless caress
slides over tough skin

See that
sweat-grey
edge
With a
sporadic sense
of pride
We know I have connected
my sanity with the tide

So that it
rises
and falls
Lifts,
crashes,
and stalls
And falls harder than before
At least we found the shore

seven fingers
are brittle
pages
A partnership of scarred runes
Our story
carved
in holy flesh
marred with half-moons

This is
our graffiti,
our precious treason.
Terrifyingly beautiful
beyond
all reason

~~~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~~~

Keep Them Tight

First the Eyes
armor-penetrating stares.
Starving, avaricious voyeurs;
a vulture's way of seeing.
Tracking every motion
of my being.

Eyes devouring me,
heedless of my attempts
to shiver myself out
of this harsh existence; use my
frantic energy to
make hell livable.
turn life Invisible.

Enough eyes,
light reflecting off their wild hunger,
to drive me mad

Try to cover it up
but thirsty eyes calmly siphon
my soul away
Each stare drowns me
another white-streaked wave at sea
defeating alike
protest and plea.

-What would you, what do you want of me?
I can't stop the take,
don't make me give-

Then the Hands,
the light touches and
sudden fierce caresses
that leave lingering bruises.
Rough fingers striving for more territory,
seeking
new ways to own me.

No! No bucking of hips,
recoiling of lips: no need to give
a free show-not that
I could force them to pay absolution.
I choose sanity over
blood retribution.

Or just some peace, to be at peace-

-hush, now, you're
flying in the clouds, breathing in the water,
you can swim or drown, fly or fall-

As the rasping nails
come to play, my skin burns
with the shame of unwelcome worship,
my soul twists
with the helplessness
of bound wrists.

Pain and pressure
without relief: I've stopped counting
the fingers that have enjoyed my flesh.
Entry cannot be denied;
they bore themselves
ruthlessly inside.

What have you
done, my God, or
what have I?

Finally, the sullying,
defiling lips; poisoned endearments
whispered into my neck, my hair.
Words are kisses are swords striking from within.
Venomous hordes
marking my skin.

This is wrong
this is wrong
this is wrong-

-keep your legs closed
as tight as you can
for as long as possible, girl-

Sick sighs of adoration pour from their mouths.
They mould my innocence into a knife,
twisting and betraying me.
Teeth tug and demand
pinning each scar
to my skin as a brand.

"A badge of innocence."
They stain these words into my very skin,
turning all of me a tarnished white.
Each syllable beat
into my breast a bite,
a tasting of the treat.

Did you know, you can feel it
even when it stops?
Just close your eyes...

~~~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~~~

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