Resurrection Emails

You are dead
for all I know
once something is gone
from our personal celestial spheres
it ceases to exist
and is therefore dead
to us

Resurrection, sometimes, comes
in the form of an email virus
-why for heaven's sake is my email
still in your contacts list, I think,
then realize
yours is probably still in mine:
a tenuous connection that nags not,
tugs not on memories
but instead proffers cheap drugs-
or a mutual connection
in the social network game

But these miracles are rare
like finding a worthwhile comment
among all the chaff we create
while touting our blurbed selves
and displaying a remarkable knack
for idiocy delivered in small doses

Or maybe it is I
who have passed
expired into oblivion
being converted into dust
by the trampling of feet above
Yes, it is I
We are oblivious to one another
and therefore dead 
while our hearts beat in alternate lives
threads of bytes that are lost
in the mass of dead pixels.

Lunar Phases

I will be the moon
if you will be the sky around me
holding me up
from the ground

You will let me be full
sometimes
and sometimes new

I know I have only
reflected sunlight
but with you here
I can make my own shine

I will let you be dark
sometimes
but never eclipsed.

~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~

Gravity/Grab At Me

Beloved, you know I find
letting myself
be lov-ed difficult, in part or full

A disclaimer, then, I state:
If I should slip,
trip, I this claim:

I am yours for sunsets
For sunrises, until
after our suns set

When the moon rises
I will rise mooning,
howling love.

For every eclipse, I will
let you eke bliss
out of my heart

The gravity of this love is
for me weightless,
grab at me what it will

For I know I am beloved
sun or moon or none
and vow to be so loved.

~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~

Sad Hurricane

Sad when the hurricane
must make the choice
to censor its howling winds
clip its powerful wings.

And thus fade gracefully
wearing the mantle of normalcy
of love and decency, of shame
oppressive with heated cheeks.

Contrary to accepted legend
there was no temptation or
grand seduction cascading
into the last downfall

Rather a decision to slow down
let human fingers split your storm
shrug off immortal armor
permit mortals to love you

Not as worshipers from afar
prayed and pled at your command
but as equals, or nearly so
this requires a demise of myth

A return, a decrease, a downgrade
a self-desecration traded for love
Will you love the captured whirlwind
once it has lost its powers?

Weep for the hurricane, its eye
has dried its only tears.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~~~~~

Home

Now we have arrived
in this new arrangement
strangeness surrounds us
even as we call it home

unfamiliarity
beats our hearts fast
when the lights are out
when wind roars overhead

infuriates us
looking for the lost
pieces of our old lives
and a new set of keys

drives us mad
dervishes of activity
moving dreamlike through
this odd landscape

And this is what we
came here to find?
What we all search for
it's not elusive at all

linguistically, that is
a few slips, trips of the
old tongue before we manage
to get the words right

tripping over old things
falling onto new floors
falling into new arms
and calling this all
home

~~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~~

Flung

So you've
decided
to be cold now
in your bones and in your bed

All those things
I wish I had
you'd rather
throw them out instead

Although the poet
said "rage, rage"
you prefer
to hang your head

You're not just
letting life
go out you're
trying to be dead

And we faithful
are meant to
understand
bite down on our tongues

You can cut out
burn off
all you are
treat it like rotting lungs

For me, please,
be careful
to always know
where your heart you have flung

The thought of
your face without
you behind it
leaves me hurt as one stung

You're better
than this ending
than any
self-imagined disgrace

Worth more than
anyone's words,
of immeasurable value
but if yourself you do replace

You bring the queen
low, become
an empty shell
that wears your old face

Trust the words
of one whose
journey began
in that wretched place

Shut the door
for a moment,
for a year
never throw out the key.

-----------AEW-----------

Scent Marking

Scent marking
my way into your heart
I believe you may have one
you wear it on your sleeve
with a poker face to match

I can't tell if you can love.
Though really, this nose knows
its owner's heart is often fickle
flitting from fragrance to fragrance
mimicking each shift in the wind

But if my native perfume could
but seep into your veins
hide in your arteries, pump into
that quiet heart of yours
for but one beat, one breath, one life

I will consider myself more fortunate
than any who have gone before.

~~~~~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Left Socks

You make my kitchen a mess
of cooked eggs and
coffee smells

You carelessly leave
CDs and clothes at my place
your scent on my pillow

Every morning it gets longer
the struggle to wake you up
not let you keep your dreamhold

To push us from the
kiss-sleep-kiss-sleep night
into the no-time day

I guess, in the left socks and
left messages, I see love
in the little things

And hear it when you whisper
barely above a sigh
thinking I am quite asleep

~~~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~~~

Body

Dear body of mine,
I must apologize for mistreating you
for putting in you
what I should have spit out
cholesterol and pills
bad food and worse people
defeated thoughts and
dirty habits that stuck
gum-like in the stomach
rotting in you for years
and
always too much salt with
not enough sugar.

For not letting you run
ungainly and hurtling
down grassy slopes or
none-too-carefully through
forests clogged with foot-traps or
letting you leap, uncontrolled
uproariously
when I felt the restlessness
singing a rhythm in my limbs
and
for dancing too much for others
and not enough for us.

For occasionally despising you
wishing parts of you away - all that
time spent in front of the
mirrors of others' eyes
I could not see the beauty in you
meant only for mine
then expecting you to serve me
when I needed you again
kept you living for
one look of satisfaction that
when given, only meant
I congratulated myself.

For falling when you wanted to climb
for resting when you wanted to push
for the disconnect between body and mind
between love of you, body and body-love
for the fire,
for the blame,
for the wire,
for the pain
for never forgiving that one time
we fell, slipped, bobbled
for letting you take the risks and
reaping the rewards with your hands.

Yet I know you forgive me;
what can cells do but reconnect?
I more than love you, so
forgive me when I
do it all again tomorrow; but, someday:
I will push off
from the earth
into the shock of waves
swim kick and float
into the deep, into a bright sun
until you have peace.

~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Car Horn

After a car horn sounds
from upstairs comes a rumbling
As of a great beast moving
shouldn't sound so frightening
so evil
but it does to me
but to her it's her heart quickening
that thrill of a lover arriving
one last
brush of makeup
one last
kiss
At the mirror
and well, it's just
it's just
it is just, isn't it? this justice of fear and love all in one
it's just love and death
the thrill of both might pale
contrasting with the blush
flush and lushness of kissed lips
one last
press of body on body
one last
push of lips on lips
and well, you're just
I'm just
we are just, aren't we? just in this love and as one
And a car horn sounds
breaking them apart
two shadows from one
upstairs my view is obstructed
lights are on that
I don't really need to see.

~~~~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~~~

Knot

She is a tightly coiled spring
she once was a loosely gathered mass
hair like errant strings
slipping out from her yarn ball hair

threads unraveling inside her
the magic of a zombie, losing
arms and ears and legs and soul
while remaining a whole thing

you would pull on her loose ends
suck on them thoughtlessly
tug her in all directions
slip out a memory to entwine your fingers

With unhappily smooth fingers, you
dig your hands in deep
kneading out arthritic thoughts
you cause more knots than love

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Poemita en progreso.
~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~

Certain Things

Certain people
you would do anything for
no, not anything
not stupid, simple things
but hard, aching things
- don't drink so I can is easy -
- cry on your shoulder
about someone else
is a hard one -

- sympathize with me
why I am not loved
by the one I want to be -
is far too difficult
to stand still for
that's why I twitch and shiver so
why I no longer look anyone
in their blind eyes

And I know that this is certain
we are three, occasionally four,
of a kind, entwined still
just because we are so different
yet commiserate so well
I am the glue, you are the pages
ones everyone sees
admires, pores over.

But I have no room
on my tongue for acrid tastes
no chemistry left to be bitter
I am made with sweet paste
An old rhyme says we girls are
sugar-laden and good,
we wait in our candy trays
for hungry men to unwrap us

But certain things
for a certain you
in that certain way you have
of asking me to
I find myself
-hypnotized or willing-
to rise above self-pity-pride
to be able to do

~~~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~~~

San Francisco on New Year's Day

Sky caged with iron-smoothed clouds
seals roosting on thrones of debris
riotously ridiculous and honking victory
the wounded - a lemon-headed pelican
limps from post to post
casualties of twisted trees and
leaves shredded by beak and claw
shiver on mossy waves
the sea holds her dead dear
in white-tipped arms
colder than dignity lost
in a scuffle over a bit of fish

~~~~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~~~

Thigmonasty

The bees are getting wiser
jealous guardians of beauty
cut the tail off a whale
put a harpoon there instead
and you have a bumblebee
does the analogy fit?
whale is to size of ocean as
bee is to flyable air?
You, skulking below, what
can you see from down there?

Snapdragon in a panic
defending your bit of earth
lashing out, biting,
swallowing all the sanity you can
But you have no baleen
you can't sift out the madness
the fool's daydreams
you, Drosera, trap it all
the bees with the flies
the rot with the honey

And everyone says:
you can't live like this
nightmaring your way
from dawn to dawn
a detached hydra
mouth free to scream
as you drift in the current
So you get Hard and Strong
swagger back to them to
demand their approval

Now there is that of the
Stalking-Cat in you
and the Bird of Prey
efficient to an E
cold when on a hunt
that of the proud Wolf
even shunned as the omega
you would still reach
attack the healthiest specimen
the hardest prey

Bees patrol the andromedas
the purple azaleas, the
demilitarized zone between
safe-houses of flowers
does it hurt, Snapdragon,
to bare your teeth at them
with no bite to your snarl?
Venus, does the harpoon
prick and sting
as you swallow them down?

But now they say:
you can't live like this
monstering your way
from dusk to dusk
but Hard, Strong you
cannot hear, your stems stretch
too high from the ground,
the walls of your petals
have grown too thick.

~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~

Pretty and...

She likes her boys
pretty and stupid
I collect cracked men
shatter them at will
to work in mosaics
they are desolate, I am dissolute
all together we are debauchery
in its finest hour

Aren't you just
the cleverest thing, trying so hard
to flash your eyes
innocence notwithstanding
unable to withstand the game
A woman can always-
everyone has a tell, a price
bet the substance of soul
the blush of your face
the way you look away

The fey lady's chariot comes, but still
Mab's just a charmer who
never quite follows through
until the climactic finale
Oh, the lies she tells, boy
to get you on your back

And aren't we a pair of aces?
you must be hearts
and I must be diamonds
unless we're being ironic again
you're cotton candy
and its cavities
I'm a polarizer, mesmerizer
circus freak sympathizer

Call a spade for what it is
a dish served up stone cold
between revenge and dessert
Atalanta un-tricked

a blackened, twisted heart
hanging by two metal threads
love turned upside down
to propagate hate

Call a spade the shovel
the tool to dig deep
dissect, damage, despoil
as only the Morrígan could.

If they had but known each other
holding hands so small
what a winning team of
women you can never scorn
One to put you to sleep
let a nightmare swish her tail in your mind
erasing all 'hope' and 'love'
Three-in-One to keep you down
embattled, tangled with fear
ravens circling your head

You like your mind
pretty and stupid
Mab collects cracked dreams
and Morrígan shatters them at will
to feed on mosaic-souls
of the desolate and dissolute
all together it is destruction
in its finest hour

~~~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~~~
What? April is National Poetry Month!

The Faded Sheaves

Every time you pet her
she gets a touch more tame
Lady Amalthea breathing,
seething on the window pane
enraged at the honey
creeping into her veins
She was born a feral thing,
beasts quivering under her reign
all the forest her savagery
could barely contain
She wore no halter and
firmly held the reins

Why then this domestication, this
pretty violence made tame?
More damage has been done
by giving her a name
than manacles on limbs
or the cutting of her mane
wind blows fevered heat
sweat slips down the chain
iron holds no relief, no drop
no cleansing storm of rain
of freedom ere the break
before all spirit is slain

slip tilt twist crash
the ocean hurts her deep
flow scream drive blast
the wind cuts her through
too much time spent below
below the thumb of man
She remembers how it felt
to turn the creatures out
raise the ground in welts
then with a terrible shout
bow to the trembling moon
with stardust in your snout

Out of despair, out of shadow
over the spiked gate
A storm arrives, knife in hand,
but it blows late-
mortal now, every tick of heart
makes new marks on her slate
Old age waits with thick fingers
wrapped around her like rings
whispering in her ears
of the end of all things

Late late, always so houred
blame the madness of hares
the egotism of man-children
the braiding of hairs
Lay and wallow in the shame
The birds twitter of men
sing of their attempt to tame
an aspect of our goddess
who rails against the dawn
holds forth against distress
heals the wounded fawn
tramples us to sweetest death

Now what are dreamers to dream
of seeing when they can last see?
What shall our final sight be?
Mab has left, gone are the sidhe
and the Lady is too much woman
and not enough emboldened beast
too little a wild beauty
who brings death to the feast
our savage savior, shameless shiva
converting sinner and priest
lies defeated at civilized feet
wounded, aching for release

Untie the bonds, slip the noose
a whisper, a promise of cyclones
not of love, but of revenge
Clatters, shudders her bones
paling, whisping out the door
out out to freedom
out out to a lack of home
out out out!-side the prison
a world of earth, of loam
fire spitting at the leaves
spittle mixed with ocean foam
a sky with stars thick as thieves

Nettle flowers hold her
keening as she grieves
throws the memory of captivity
of irons, bellows, heaves
from her mind as she has thrown
riders to the faded sheaves
chewing, stomping, cleaving
through wire, bit, and nail
shaking her liberated body
unbraiding her endless tail
waking the animal inside
fates and justice to prevail

with the cold weighing of
once-golden lives and sheaves
for what was once wild
beneath, can never go stale

~~~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~~~
A rolling ode gathers no topos.<-- Poems Abound!

Gata Blanca

Soñe...
La gata blanca
con su nariz rosada
dibuja tatuajes
en mi cara

Me acaricia
lentamente
con su cola-cuerda
hilos de plumas
me hacen sonreir

Sonreir
su curiousidad:
Qué tienes, por qué duermes
las sombras ya vibran
sobre el mar

Vamos a volar
Me prometiste que hoy dia
podríamos ver los pajaros
desde arriba
entre suspiro, respiro, y aire

Esperé todo que pude
hasta que la luna lloraba
se murío seis veces
se nació siete veces
abriendo sus volcanes-ojos

se nace jugando
caza las estrellas
pillándolas con lengua-papel
cosquillas de exploración
se escapan

Siempre regresan
por pura curiousidad

~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~

Fruit

The orchard knows:
we are not feeling this
the world is not
falling in on itself
trying to understand
why it hates the sinner
and loves the sin

Forget the Union, Jack
the scabs you've flicked
are growing right back
checking themselves in to stay
I am always A-1/Ace/FlyingHigh/FreeandFine/OK

you've left me plum
juice drops like
quiet bruises on my skin
At least, that's what
a loving hand would be
instead of my mimicking vine
I think all of this
to certain death:

You are not the heat
I want to push on, the
weight I want to lift, that
invading-filling piece
struggling towards a
mini-apocalypse in the sheets
but you will do for now

No sabes como te has metido
...this good?
Since I was born
There are crows
swimming in the reservoir
black-bear black backstroking through white
my hair tracing diagrams on your chest
you can neither
understand nor remove

Athena knows what it's like
to have this sight
from birth we come marching
to the edge of psychosis
hold hands and
dip our necks in
spit-and-shine
clean the swine
fill our nostrils
slick with brine

we are not kind women
but we are the kind
who choke on love
and swing through puppet lives
watching each other
give accidental tugs
as we weave our
shimmering strings.

You've left me peach
swollen with emptiness
coreless, stemless
Try to keep my juice
my stain
on your lips and skin
but I am pull-the-root
float-the-river
jump-the-vine
ripe to fall

~~~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~~~

Toast to the Senses

I just remembered
you introduced me to
salt & vinegar potato chips
in the supermarket
not yet bought, you said the cashiers
don't care, we pay for it anyway
and placed one on my tongue
it burned like sour cloves
like the thought
of getting caught

And I know, about life...
Here's to tasting freedom

In Disneyland
before the fall of the U.S. curtain
we wore full dress
I was livid when we became
mainstream's movie, judged and watched
as if we wouldn't understand the talk
you pulled black up, to make me laugh
to cover those eyes you hated
But our secret was we
could see through the fabric

And I know, the world is good...
Here's to showing them all

In the depths of high school
low-budget, high-emotion drama
you came with humility
the others talk about me
when they think I can't tell
they say I reek of outside
asked me dark-eyed if you did
I lied; how could I explain
your perfume of spices, trade winds,
onions, and your home?

And I know, I know, Allah loves us...
Here's to incense

More than summer sounds late at night
hazy shouts and carpet-held sobs
your father, he loved my eyes
liked to joke and pretend
I would be his other wife
you asked me, what should we do?
when your mother sweeps bruised skin
under the rug
Revenge made me answer
call the police

Oh, I know, mankind is alright...
Here's to telephone wires

You wanted to hold my hand at school
show friendship as you knew it
Stick-shift lesson at 2am
with sand for shoes
Still: Nothing was so warm-cold
as the Pacific at night
in denim or yards of holiness
seemed like a dream, but we had proof:
salt slipping through our hands
waves like me crashing rarely in your life

And I know, I know, love is waiting...
Here's to manmade distance.

~~~~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~For Peace~~~~~~~~~

Grandmothers I Have Collected: I

On a sunlight-heavy street
she leans brazil nut fingers
down to her wrinkled ankles
adjusting elephant skin tights

she is caught in a freeze frame
by an errant shaft of sun
that catches a dark shadow
just there on her calf

this spotlight reveals
hidden edges and pastel colors
the bruise dissolves into
a faded tattoo

on an eighty-five year old woman's calf

And my mind is off and racing
even while I hide my gaze
behind the glare and dark lenses
there is a story I must hear

mistress of the burlesque
or darling of the circus ring

How did that needle come
to worship glowing brown skin?
lost bet, lover's promise
blood sister's dare?

In my favourite daydream
she comes by it naturally
polynesian baby on the move
tradition rolling off her

like waves off an ancient shoreline

I hold this memory of
unexpected rebellion
twisted flicks of ink
and replay it on eyelids

when I need to see something beautiful.

~~~~~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~~~~~