Lunar Phases

I will be the moon
if you will be the sky around me
holding me up
from the ground

You will let me be full
sometimes
and sometimes new

I know I have only
reflected sunlight
but with you here
I can make my own shine

I will let you be dark
sometimes
but never eclipsed.

~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~

Gravity/Grab At Me

Beloved, you know I find
letting myself
be lov-ed difficult, in part or full

A disclaimer, then, I state:
If I should slip,
trip, I this claim:

I am yours for sunsets
For sunrises, until
after our suns set

When the moon rises
I will rise mooning,
howling love.

For every eclipse, I will
let you eke bliss
out of my heart

The gravity of this love is
for me weightless,
grab at me what it will

For I know I am beloved
sun or moon or none
and vow to be so loved.

~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~

Scent Marking

Scent marking
my way into your heart
I believe you may have one
you wear it on your sleeve
with a poker face to match

I can't tell if you can love.
Though really, this nose knows
its owner's heart is often fickle
flitting from fragrance to fragrance
mimicking each shift in the wind

But if my native perfume could
but seep into your veins
hide in your arteries, pump into
that quiet heart of yours
for but one beat, one breath, one life

I will consider myself more fortunate
than any who have gone before.

~~~~~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Left Socks

You make my kitchen a mess
of cooked eggs and
coffee smells

You carelessly leave
CDs and clothes at my place
your scent on my pillow

Every morning it gets longer
the struggle to wake you up
not let you keep your dreamhold

To push us from the
kiss-sleep-kiss-sleep night
into the no-time day

I guess, in the left socks and
left messages, I see love
in the little things

And hear it when you whisper
barely above a sigh
thinking I am quite asleep

~~~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~~~

Horror, Hope, Hugs, and Hedonism

Four things that have taken up my time lately:
1. Enjoying several Horror and Action movies.
a. 30 Days of Night - Why do the vampires waste so much blood? Didn't really see the twist ending coming.
b. Resident Evil: Extinction - Eh, it was all right.
c. Crazy Eights, part of Horrorfest 2007. - Just didn't have enough meat to the story or to the "evil thing" to get the job done.
2. Thinking about the results of my mother's biopsy.
3. New anime series (several) and...
4. Battlestar Galactica, starting from the beginning. Normally I can take or leave Sci-Fi shows, especially those set in space, but the acting of the entire cast pretty much rocks.
That's about it.

Certain Things

Certain people
you would do anything for
no, not anything
not stupid, simple things
but hard, aching things
- don't drink so I can is easy -
- cry on your shoulder
about someone else
is a hard one -

- sympathize with me
why I am not loved
by the one I want to be -
is far too difficult
to stand still for
that's why I twitch and shiver so
why I no longer look anyone
in their blind eyes

And I know that this is certain
we are three, occasionally four,
of a kind, entwined still
just because we are so different
yet commiserate so well
I am the glue, you are the pages
ones everyone sees
admires, pores over.

But I have no room
on my tongue for acrid tastes
no chemistry left to be bitter
I am made with sweet paste
An old rhyme says we girls are
sugar-laden and good,
we wait in our candy trays
for hungry men to unwrap us

But certain things
for a certain you
in that certain way you have
of asking me to
I find myself
-hypnotized or willing-
to rise above self-pity-pride
to be able to do

~~~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~~~

Pretty and...

She likes her boys
pretty and stupid
I collect cracked men
shatter them at will
to work in mosaics
they are desolate, I am dissolute
all together we are debauchery
in its finest hour

Aren't you just
the cleverest thing, trying so hard
to flash your eyes
innocence notwithstanding
unable to withstand the game
A woman can always-
everyone has a tell, a price
bet the substance of soul
the blush of your face
the way you look away

The fey lady's chariot comes, but still
Mab's just a charmer who
never quite follows through
until the climactic finale
Oh, the lies she tells, boy
to get you on your back

And aren't we a pair of aces?
you must be hearts
and I must be diamonds
unless we're being ironic again
you're cotton candy
and its cavities
I'm a polarizer, mesmerizer
circus freak sympathizer

Call a spade for what it is
a dish served up stone cold
between revenge and dessert
Atalanta un-tricked

a blackened, twisted heart
hanging by two metal threads
love turned upside down
to propagate hate

Call a spade the shovel
the tool to dig deep
dissect, damage, despoil
as only the Morrígan could.

If they had but known each other
holding hands so small
what a winning team of
women you can never scorn
One to put you to sleep
let a nightmare swish her tail in your mind
erasing all 'hope' and 'love'
Three-in-One to keep you down
embattled, tangled with fear
ravens circling your head

You like your mind
pretty and stupid
Mab collects cracked dreams
and Morrígan shatters them at will
to feed on mosaic-souls
of the desolate and dissolute
all together it is destruction
in its finest hour

~~~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~~~
What? April is National Poetry Month!

Toast to the Senses

I just remembered
you introduced me to
salt & vinegar potato chips
in the supermarket
not yet bought, you said the cashiers
don't care, we pay for it anyway
and placed one on my tongue
it burned like sour cloves
like the thought
of getting caught

And I know, about life...
Here's to tasting freedom

In Disneyland
before the fall of the U.S. curtain
we wore full dress
I was livid when we became
mainstream's movie, judged and watched
as if we wouldn't understand the talk
you pulled black up, to make me laugh
to cover those eyes you hated
But our secret was we
could see through the fabric

And I know, the world is good...
Here's to showing them all

In the depths of high school
low-budget, high-emotion drama
you came with humility
the others talk about me
when they think I can't tell
they say I reek of outside
asked me dark-eyed if you did
I lied; how could I explain
your perfume of spices, trade winds,
onions, and your home?

And I know, I know, Allah loves us...
Here's to incense

More than summer sounds late at night
hazy shouts and carpet-held sobs
your father, he loved my eyes
liked to joke and pretend
I would be his other wife
you asked me, what should we do?
when your mother sweeps bruised skin
under the rug
Revenge made me answer
call the police

Oh, I know, mankind is alright...
Here's to telephone wires

You wanted to hold my hand at school
show friendship as you knew it
Stick-shift lesson at 2am
with sand for shoes
Still: Nothing was so warm-cold
as the Pacific at night
in denim or yards of holiness
seemed like a dream, but we had proof:
salt slipping through our hands
waves like me crashing rarely in your life

And I know, I know, love is waiting...
Here's to manmade distance.

~~~~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~For Peace~~~~~~~~~

one two three four we can do it forever more

I really think
that you and me, baby
could take over the world
I'll get the boys
and, well, the girls
you can hold their hands
pick up their pieces
convince them
I'll be back someday
charge them overtime for
love in the off-hours

We will be the grandest
of conquerers by seduction
tyranny through heartbreak
my endless supply of pheromones
your surprisingly charming vulgarity
I knock them down
you set them up again
Ready for the nuclear fallout
or maybe just sex

Our lack of trust
will save us from disaster
we both know neither one
can feel deeply
so we will never fall in love,
let the other one down
by turning plasticene and steel human
you are a steel rod wrapped in cotton
I, a silk dress carved from marble

both look soft and sweet
enough to set a trap

~~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~~~

Off-Again

Call me up at midnight
quick-jump-shake me out
of a dream I hate

You can get off on my voice
I don't mind
The clink of a
slipped leash
turns me on

You can think of
whomever you like - I don't care
It would be nice
not to be your fantasy again

You know how I do love
such gorgeous lies
to you from me to the world

We can play this off
tomorrow
no trouble at all

When you get it bad
even more lonely than the usual
your pitiful seductions
make me twitch

and your rapid-fire talk, your
diseased thoughts
make my bones itch

But you know, you can always

Call me up at three a.m.
slip-scream-scare
my favorite nightmare away

You can get turned on
I don't mind...
I'm not mine

~~~~~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~~~~~

Go on, light some incense and sip espresso. <-- More Verses for the Desperate

Neatly, like Modern Art

I wanted to be gone
when you came back
wanted to be unavailable
when you called
wanted one thousand ways
to burn you
To pierce you to the quick
until you withered away

I wanted my actions
to spell out revenge
neatly, like modern art
yellow letters on blue sky
to have kissed ten men
or even one or two
to have hate-laughed my way
out of loving you

I wanted to destroy
to feel restless again
slinking and taut
in my own skin
to ease the mask of apathy
let the darkness out
I wanted to whisper
sordid details in your ear

I wanted to be
so many things
heartless, merciless
in the arms of another
when you came back
I would have iron walls
with no gates
would trick you then flick you
out of an embrace

But I forgot love
love is careless and unashamed
frivolous and stubborn
it will not die in winter
it urges me to
set myself aflame
to keep you warm
to stay and not stray

So it's a heaven-sent blessing
that I am deaf and blind
my tongue is leaden
my breath cold and weak
when you come to me
flippant or repentant
bleeding or proud
it will not be long

it will not be long
until you bow your head
before you kneel
crumbling like a weary statue
with snow warping your hands
as you watch me
walk away
swift with the current.

~~~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~~~

Now it is, then.

I think this might be the time
when I gently let my hand fall
from your strong, warm grip
and walk smoothly on ahead

I think this might be the place
along this winding, uphill path
where I pull my waist away
run laughing into the woods
and don't glance back

I think this might be the way
my journey with you needs to end
I drift away on swift currents
play mistress to the caprice
of eddies and ripples that shy
away from you

Now the hero must tell his beloved
"this fight is mine to win,
this task mine to finish."

Now the wilds beckon
the forest calls
the water sings
the heavens reach down
embrace me and carry me
away from you

~~~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~~~
Shh...a rare Antibacchus anadiplosis, hardly ever seen in the wild. <-- More Poetry

Quiet

It is quiet
we don't chatter
compare favorites
find kindred spirits

Enumerate our lives
find meaning
in shaky coincidences
and similar needs

skin met skin
long before we knew each other
soul met soul
long before we liked each other

This connection
is instinctual
completely
visceral

you made me boneless
shocked me with warmth
you woke me up
forced me to feel

~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~

Something they call

Last night, I operated
a complex surgery
performed with precise words
and finely-tuned tones

I severed the ties of pride
burned the ends of lust
collapsed the dams of fear
and watched the future wilt

With every slice and stitch
the whole body flinched
but the disconnected soul
was too far gone to tremble

Until nimble fingertips
prised loose their heavy prize
writhing and slick with red
throbbing like a tempest

Something they call love

And the sound it made
detaching itself from me
tumbled into the dead air
echoing with a shallow gasp

And in that one breath
I knew that this,
this separation of souls,
would certainly leave a scar

They say this type
of removal should be done
only when numbed
by some higher power

Something they call love

But I have yet to find it
lurking in shriveled veins or
hovering as a shadow behind
the moon-slivers of my ribs

~~~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~~~

All the cool poets are doing it... <-- More Poetry Temporary Soundtrack: "Early One Morning", a traditional carol.
Quote Trapped in My Head: "No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself, and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be true." - Nathaniel Hawthorne
What I Learned Today: What a chiasmus is.

Stay the Night

Stay the night
push sleep away with me
throw foggy fingers into thick air
make a mess of dust particles

Stay the night
punch pillows into submission
scrape nails against shins
rub heels and arches and souls

Stay the night
tug on tangled hair
weave and un-weave hands and feet
knot ligaments and interlock bones

Stay the night
wrinkle sheets with shared dreams
brush accidental kisses to skin
churn and settle until golden and sated

Stay the night
shudder the earth and echo the mountains
rival the falling of stars
merge halves of wholes into one

Stay the night...

only, don't.

~~~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~~~

I can't really say why I am so pleased with this; just know, reader, that I am. Written in an insanely short amount of time. About fifteen minutes, in fact. It shows, doesn't it? Ah, well. Forget you!

Go on, wake up your demons! It'll be fun! <-- Still More Verse

Of all things...

If I needed to
would you let me hurt you?

You must understand,
this is what I am:
a destroyer
of all things perfect and solid,
clean and whole.

I will push too hard
slice too deep
to the marrow
down to the core
right through that palpitating heart
and out the other side.

My looking-glass is red,
I say conversationally
and constricts so painfully.
Emerging deaf and blind
with closed eyes and covered ears,
I wallow in you.
I swallow the veins in my mouth.
Prickling and rough,
as pleasant as the bending of thorns.

And no simple trip
through your soul
can change me.

You are pathetic.
You manage to be sympathetic
while bleeding to death.
You grasp my hand
as I rise to leave you:
One last kiss...
then blood-stained lips
mark my forehead.

If I had a conscience
I would wait until you died
to wipe you away.

You would let me do this?

Yes, I imagine you would.

I know you.
I recognize your kind,
reciting your blind faith
to a rosary of daisies.

I love you.

I love you not.

But I need you
to let me tear you apart.
At least, until I find
a new lamb that won't run
from the altar.

One that will mince and waltz
carouse and gambol
between the wildflowers, leaping
without crushing a single petal.

No matter the color of its wool,
it will appear to me
as a delicious red cloud,
sitting on its hind heels,
disintegrating blossoms
petal by petal and stem by stem.

With luck, I will have
no need to hide, bide my time.
Indeed, you came to me so easily,
your trust smelling of sweet-clover.
I gave the barest of smiles;
you fell in my lap.

No fairy tale
has ever told the truth:
Of all things terrible and evil,
the most dangerous of these
are the pretty ones.
Incandescent, fascinating, hypnotic.
But treacherous and tricksy as a spider web.

Wild daisies with thorns
as long as swords
and twice
as hard as steel.

~~~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~~~

'Twas a dark and stormy metonymy... <-- More Poems

Navigation

Through lowered lashes
I try to picture you
as a topographical map.
Layers of skin translating to
black circles measuring
height and depth.

I study you openly
and struggle to draw the
planes of your body,
mutable as the shore; but you
refuse to dissolve
into angles and curves.

I attempt to navigate you
in a paper boat with angry folds
and ripped sails, charting the
wrinkled edges of your smile.
Somehow you have become
both my compass and my North.

You are the only thing,
living or still, that I
cannot seem to disassemble.
To break mountains and seas
into easy-to-swallow
pieces of heart and soul.

~~~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~~~

Psst! Don't look now, but your iambic pentameter is showing. <--More Poems

This Heaviest of Freedoms

I. Walkabout

I removed the gold chain from around my neck. The one that holds
an inscribed half-heart and a ring.

How many times have I traced the jagged edge of that divided charm?

I seem to have swallowed all the bitter words
I never got a chance to throw at you.

I have them sitting in my stomach, a dense mass of letters
flavored with an angry tone.

I hear every sound from the distance of the top of a high dive.
But I've already plunged, so it must be the water that clogs my ears.

I smile and make dinner, I laugh and play the part.

I am either the world's best actress, the world's coldest lover, or the world's biggest fool.

Then again, maybe it's the way I'm screaming inside, so loudly,
that makes everything echo from far away.

I know I'm crazy.

I may call you again. I may love you again.

It was your turn to chase me. (The way it always will be.) Maybe I finally tired you out. Maybe I finally drove you away.

And to think, I was holding back.

I don't feel any of that lightness I thought I would feel, bubbling up inside me, lifting my burden.

I was probably wrong.

I am definitely cruel.

I am too strong for my own good.

I think you got off easy. I think you're the lucky one.
I think I let fear call the shots. (I thought too much.)

I twisted the passages from my heart to my mind one too many times.
They are the thinnest of straws leaking precious emotion.

I think this may be as happy as I get.

Why am I so weighed down by this heaviest of freedoms?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

II. Boomerang

You made sure your mother called
to tell me about the emergency.

The medium is in the hospital. The one who talks to ghosts,
who said I was beautiful outside and in.

(You see why I was skeptical?)

I did the unthinkable - ran away. But you didn't even know
I had left you.

I am torn between frustration and relief.

It's the little things that always pull you back, the
gossamer-thin spider webs that we have erected between us.

I hate the distance, those glorious mountains and the oceans laced with salt.

I hate the unfairness inherent in the distribution of resources.

More than anything, I hate my fickle, cold-blooded heart.

The same one that catches in my throat when I reach for my necklace
and find only unbroken skin.

Thin strands of gold lie in a resentful pile on my dresser.
We never did write our names on the back of that charm.

I called you. Dodged your lazy bullet questions.

I gave you an in.

I both hope and dread you will take it.

I could never sell my soul for a kiss, but I'd buy yours.

Keep it in a vial around my neck.

Wear it as a shawl, a blanket, to save myself from the frost.
(How do you stay so warm?)

Run it up a flagpole, sew it into my pocket, prick it, cure it, love it, destroy it.

Melt it and mold it into a key for these fetters.

Open me up again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~AEW~~~~~
Words are kisses are swords, striking from within... <-- More Poetry

Well Met and Left

At three we chanced to meet
at least I believe so;
insert any number you prefer.
Yet light to dark, we met

By five we were inseparable,
unquestionably intertwined;
our exploits so life-shattering
with no journey's end in sight.

At seven we became lovers,
closer than ever intended:
an extrapolation of the
sweet process of discovery.

At nine they pulled you away,
unwilling limbs stretching
far from our secret nest.
I mourned and denied your memory.

At eleven our lives collided.
We tried to reconnect, to be as one,
but voyeurs and our own timidity
caught our hands and froze our tongues.

We truly believed we could
deceive the world, with all
our cleverly coded interactions
our wickedly innocent fumblings;

Recapture the magic of
your skin heating mine
your hair tangling with mine
your lips wetting mine.

Now, at this late hour,
another's head of black hair
rests heavily on my chest,
warm eyes caressing my face.

Another's soft brown lips
speak words of undying love
with ticklish breaths as
another's fingers capture mine.

And I shall not use again
all we learned early in the day,
For I have long since let you go:
Opened these pale arms to love.

~~~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~

You've Dipped a Toe in, Now Come Swim... <--More Poems

Soft Box

I had forgotten
that for you
capturing my wings
is but a moment's work

I am thoughtlessly
chased, stilled and grounded
all with one breath
from your cold lips

With a swift wave
from your clawed hands
you close the door
on this soft box of life

Now my iridescence
is long gone; it has
left me to my dark
where I beat my fists in vain

~~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~~

Let Someone Else Make Up The Rhymes... <-- More Poetry