Shiny New Obsession

Oh yay!, a shiny new obsession...Just what I always wanted. Oh well, imsomniacs of the world, unite! I blog, therefore I rave...better than sleep anyway.
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Right, so what's spinning my mental wheels so much tonight? Besides the usual, a bunch of stuff.
Went to the concert in the park yesterday, and while there, saw a great group, but there was this family I guess with these two teenage boys.

I knew this would be trouble. Not as bad as I expected, but still, it's like, I'd like to breathe without being watched with creepy crawly pubescent eyes. Anyway, how do I know I was being watched? Well, walking over to get the bug spray, They came up and said "beautiful" in passing, and I don't think they meant the boy camp counselors or the old guy helping them.

So, then I was self-conscious which is stupid I should just let it roll of my shoulders, but it still bugs me and I bolted after a while to the bocce courts to be able to breathe, drew some while there, and slipped back onto the blanket with the rents. Then my mom wanted me to take her up & dance, and I did, ignoring the disgusting sensation of being undressed with some freak's eyes.

Well, mostly ignoring, it's hard to do. Some day I'll publish a long rant on misogynism and female-shaping and slavery, but not right now, I'm not angry right now.
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Who do I have to thank for that? Mostly, my pololo, H. I really miss him right now and I feel horrible that I can' t be there when he needs me the most, and I just wish I could hold him and tell him it's ok and let him be tired and not so brave. I could just thwack him one for getting out of the car to check without driving the freak far away, but he's too brave for his own good. I wish I could just take away his pain just by thinking hard enough and putting it on myself, I'd do it in a heartbeat. Mostly I just want to be near him. My skin aches to be by his side, and I've got the shakes sometimes, and it was SO hard not to cry when he told me what happened, but I didn't want to upset him. If wishes were horses, then I'd trade em in for a plane ticket (well, I'd keep two).
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It's so bizarre reading your old high school and junior high work when you're done with college. It seems so juvenile. Plus, I can't remember half of what I was talking about since I haven't studied history in forever, and my short stories see, so trite and cute now.
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I realize I'm switching subjects. I make no apologies. I am human (mostly).
So occasionally, I'll post poetry and stories and stuff. I probably won't want to talk about them face to face, but e-mail is ok, I guess. But remember, if I get snippy, well, I won't get snippy. Just don't take a crack at my writing. It's not supposed to be profound. But it sure feels good.
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Another day, another unhelpful quote: 'You're not outdoorsy enough to be pond scum. You must be bathroom tile scum...yes, you may even be toilet scum.'