I hate fall
And she's walking in the afternoon
with treeskins in her pocket
crinkling and breaking
against her cold ribs
It's like Hamlet:
everything dies before the end
Even if your heart keeps beating
the final steps of this frenzied dance
will steal your last breath
A parade of corpses
in aboveground graves
spines crackling where feet fall
In a post-war battlefield
with blood-red and bruise-yellow grass
Insects whine at the doorframes
begging their way inside
mice and rats burrow and peck
at the soft underbellies of houses
they sense that we are coming...
Death is walking, hand in mine.
Fingers held in his ironclad grip.
We leech the colors from the sky
bleed the leaves and children dry
make new bones to build our thrones.
These last gasps of life
drawn from raspish lips are
building up to some apocalypse.
Even the winds will collapse.
Nothing will survive.
Until Winter bends its crooked hand
touches the dying earth with care
and stops even death in his tracks.
I am death's, but soon,
my lover will come in with the cold.
~~~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~~~
You can be my diacope, if you let me be your chiasmus. <-- More Poemage
Monday, 24 October 2005
Wednesday, 19 October 2005
Timeline of a Breakup
Mandala looked down at her paper, then glanced at the officer seated across from her.
"Since I'm, well, fairly close to insane anyway, I figured I'd make light and dark of this situation and give a timeline of my activities since H. and I broke up."
"H? You mean, your ex-boyfriend?" The officer queried.
She smiled. "Precisely. You are a sharp one."
She flipped a page and read:
"Sunday, 16 October 2005
4:20-6:10pm
Online discussion that ended with me promising to call him at 12:00 am his time, which would be 11:00 our time."
"Why?" The suit interrupted. "Weren't you 'officially' broken up?"
"I was honoring his last requests - of a sort. And, I had asked to hear his voice one more time. We needed to get things wrapped up. What, you've never had one last call?"
Mandala shot the detective a cool glance and resumed reciting.
"6:00pm-"
"Wait, that's during your discussion." He leaned in to study her paper.
She pulled back. "Correct. 6:00pm - Removed necklace with half-heart and inscribed ring."
Her voice slipped, just enough to bring his eyes to study her face.
"I knew it was over."
"6:15pm
Called L.B. to talk. Ended up feeling better after a few minutes. Sent a message to Axis. No answer, but she was out.
"7:00-7:30pm
Told mom. Her response: 'Well, maybe he already had another girl anyway.' Classy, no? Packed up pictures of him, removed photos from frames, and put them all in one album.
"That's the way to do it, you know" she interrupted herself, her tone now more friendly, almost conversational.
"What is?"
"Not very thoughtful, are you?" She sighed. "That way, you only have to look at that person in one place. They're stuff is not all over. It's bad enough with your head churning up memories all the time, all on its own. You don't need another trigger."
The detective looked mildly amused at her choice of words.
"7:30-8:00pm
Ate dinner with the family. Omelettes. Cheese, to be exact."
"8:00pm-12:15am
Watched television, played computer games, worked a bit on my costume for our upcoming Shallow Queen Party - (thanks, Dan!).
"12:20-1:40am
Called H. Result of conversation: he wants me to wait for him to get his act together. On the 9th of December, he will call me to see if we should get back together. Oh, also, on the 9th of November. To keep in touch."
"Why the ninth?"
"We met in the wee hours of the morning on the 9th of August, 2002. He's...sentimental like that."
She nodded at the two-way mirror, her body under complete control. She got to her feet gracefully, gathering her papers as she did so.
The suit grabbed her wrist just as she turned to the door.
"One last thing."
Her eyebrows asked the question for her.
"What was your answer? Did you say you would wait for him?"
"I didn't give him one. Instead, I gave him hope. Isn't that the best thing you can give someone who's lost in the world?"
"But will you? Wait for him, I mean?"
She tilted her head to up just slightly, patted his arm, and smiled. "It's not whether one person waits for the other. It's who they end up being once they find each other."
And then, somehow, in the few seconds he was lost in the curve of her lips and the downward tilt of her eyes, she had gone.
"So? What do you think, Einstein?" His partner sat on the table in the interrogation room. "You like her for it?"
"I hope not." He shook his head balefully, like a wayward dog. "The world is too small for those eyes."
Temporary Soundtrack: Feel Good Hit of the Summer by Queens of the Stone Age.
Quote Trapped in My Head: "But my big secret // Gonna hover over your life // Gonna keep you reaching // When I'm gone like yesterday..." from Slow Like Honey by Fiona Apple.
What I Learned Today: The definition of patchouli.
"Since I'm, well, fairly close to insane anyway, I figured I'd make light and dark of this situation and give a timeline of my activities since H. and I broke up."
"H? You mean, your ex-boyfriend?" The officer queried.
She smiled. "Precisely. You are a sharp one."
She flipped a page and read:
"Sunday, 16 October 2005
4:20-6:10pm
Online discussion that ended with me promising to call him at 12:00 am his time, which would be 11:00 our time."
"Why?" The suit interrupted. "Weren't you 'officially' broken up?"
"I was honoring his last requests - of a sort. And, I had asked to hear his voice one more time. We needed to get things wrapped up. What, you've never had one last call?"
Mandala shot the detective a cool glance and resumed reciting.
"6:00pm-"
"Wait, that's during your discussion." He leaned in to study her paper.
She pulled back. "Correct. 6:00pm - Removed necklace with half-heart and inscribed ring."
Her voice slipped, just enough to bring his eyes to study her face.
"I knew it was over."
"6:15pm
Called L.B. to talk. Ended up feeling better after a few minutes. Sent a message to Axis. No answer, but she was out.
"7:00-7:30pm
Told mom. Her response: 'Well, maybe he already had another girl anyway.' Classy, no? Packed up pictures of him, removed photos from frames, and put them all in one album.
"That's the way to do it, you know" she interrupted herself, her tone now more friendly, almost conversational.
"What is?"
"Not very thoughtful, are you?" She sighed. "That way, you only have to look at that person in one place. They're stuff is not all over. It's bad enough with your head churning up memories all the time, all on its own. You don't need another trigger."
The detective looked mildly amused at her choice of words.
"7:30-8:00pm
Ate dinner with the family. Omelettes. Cheese, to be exact."
"8:00pm-12:15am
Watched television, played computer games, worked a bit on my costume for our upcoming Shallow Queen Party - (thanks, Dan!).
"12:20-1:40am
Called H. Result of conversation: he wants me to wait for him to get his act together. On the 9th of December, he will call me to see if we should get back together. Oh, also, on the 9th of November. To keep in touch."
"Why the ninth?"
"We met in the wee hours of the morning on the 9th of August, 2002. He's...sentimental like that."
She nodded at the two-way mirror, her body under complete control. She got to her feet gracefully, gathering her papers as she did so.
The suit grabbed her wrist just as she turned to the door.
"One last thing."
Her eyebrows asked the question for her.
"What was your answer? Did you say you would wait for him?"
"I didn't give him one. Instead, I gave him hope. Isn't that the best thing you can give someone who's lost in the world?"
"But will you? Wait for him, I mean?"
She tilted her head to up just slightly, patted his arm, and smiled. "It's not whether one person waits for the other. It's who they end up being once they find each other."
And then, somehow, in the few seconds he was lost in the curve of her lips and the downward tilt of her eyes, she had gone.
"So? What do you think, Einstein?" His partner sat on the table in the interrogation room. "You like her for it?"
"I hope not." He shook his head balefully, like a wayward dog. "The world is too small for those eyes."
Sunday, 16 October 2005
Freedom
So, this is mostly unofficial, but as of today, I am no longer dating anyone.
Heh.
Half-smile, maybe?
Let's see if this can last longer than 4 months, which is my record for being single since I started dating at age 18.
Who knows what tomorrow will bring, however?
We both had not been happy for a while, and being on different continents did not help at all. We passed three and a quarter years together in a long-distance relationship, which is equivalent to about ten years in a normal relationship. He taught me how to love, and we shared so many good times together. I could ask for more, but the circumstances simply do not allow it.
I am, of course, incredibly sad, but I feel a bit lighter, a bit less weighed down by the world.
Hugs to all, and good night.
Heh.
Half-smile, maybe?
Let's see if this can last longer than 4 months, which is my record for being single since I started dating at age 18.
Who knows what tomorrow will bring, however?
We both had not been happy for a while, and being on different continents did not help at all. We passed three and a quarter years together in a long-distance relationship, which is equivalent to about ten years in a normal relationship. He taught me how to love, and we shared so many good times together. I could ask for more, but the circumstances simply do not allow it.
I am, of course, incredibly sad, but I feel a bit lighter, a bit less weighed down by the world.
Hugs to all, and good night.
Monday, 10 October 2005
Quiet
It is quiet
we don't chatter
compare favorites
find kindred spirits
Enumerate our lives
find meaning
in shaky coincidences
and similar needs
skin met skin
long before we knew each other
soul met soul
long before we liked each other
This connection
is instinctual
completely
visceral
you made me boneless
shocked me with warmth
you woke me up
forced me to feel
~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~
we don't chatter
compare favorites
find kindred spirits
Enumerate our lives
find meaning
in shaky coincidences
and similar needs
skin met skin
long before we knew each other
soul met soul
long before we liked each other
This connection
is instinctual
completely
visceral
you made me boneless
shocked me with warmth
you woke me up
forced me to feel
~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~
Monday, 3 October 2005
Something they call
Last night, I operated
a complex surgery
performed with precise words
and finely-tuned tones
I severed the ties of pride
burned the ends of lust
collapsed the dams of fear
and watched the future wilt
With every slice and stitch
the whole body flinched
but the disconnected soul
was too far gone to tremble
Until nimble fingertips
prised loose their heavy prize
writhing and slick with red
throbbing like a tempest
Something they call love
And the sound it made
detaching itself from me
tumbled into the dead air
echoing with a shallow gasp
And in that one breath
I knew that this,
this separation of souls,
would certainly leave a scar
They say this type
of removal should be done
only when numbed
by some higher power
Something they call love
But I have yet to find it
lurking in shriveled veins or
hovering as a shadow behind
the moon-slivers of my ribs
~~~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~~~
All the cool poets are doing it... <-- More PoetryTemporary Soundtrack: "Early One Morning", a traditional carol.
Quote Trapped in My Head: "No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself, and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be true." - Nathaniel Hawthorne
What I Learned Today: What a chiasmus is.
a complex surgery
performed with precise words
and finely-tuned tones
I severed the ties of pride
burned the ends of lust
collapsed the dams of fear
and watched the future wilt
With every slice and stitch
the whole body flinched
but the disconnected soul
was too far gone to tremble
Until nimble fingertips
prised loose their heavy prize
writhing and slick with red
throbbing like a tempest
Something they call love
And the sound it made
detaching itself from me
tumbled into the dead air
echoing with a shallow gasp
And in that one breath
I knew that this,
this separation of souls,
would certainly leave a scar
They say this type
of removal should be done
only when numbed
by some higher power
Something they call love
But I have yet to find it
lurking in shriveled veins or
hovering as a shadow behind
the moon-slivers of my ribs
~~~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~~~
All the cool poets are doing it... <-- More Poetry
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)