What the title said. San Francisco here we come. LOL. I just realized why I was singing "If you're going to San Francisco, be sure to wear some flowers in your hair..."
Un beso y un abrazo!
Thursday 30 December 2004
Wednesday 29 December 2004
Well Met and Left
At three we chanced to meet
at least I believe so;
insert any number you prefer.
Yet light to dark, we met
By five we were inseparable,
unquestionably intertwined;
our exploits so life-shattering
with no journey's end in sight.
At seven we became lovers,
closer than ever intended:
an extrapolation of the
sweet process of discovery.
At nine they pulled you away,
unwilling limbs stretching
far from our secret nest.
I mourned and denied your memory.
At eleven our lives collided.
We tried to reconnect, to be as one,
but voyeurs and our own timidity
caught our hands and froze our tongues.
We truly believed we could
deceive the world, with all
our cleverly coded interactions
our wickedly innocent fumblings;
Recapture the magic of
your skin heating mine
your hair tangling with mine
your lips wetting mine.
Now, at this late hour,
another's head of black hair
rests heavily on my chest,
warm eyes caressing my face.
Another's soft brown lips
speak words of undying love
with ticklish breaths as
another's fingers capture mine.
And I shall not use again
all we learned early in the day,
For I have long since let you go:
Opened these pale arms to love.
~~~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~
You've Dipped a Toe in, Now Come Swim... <--More Poems
at least I believe so;
insert any number you prefer.
Yet light to dark, we met
By five we were inseparable,
unquestionably intertwined;
our exploits so life-shattering
with no journey's end in sight.
At seven we became lovers,
closer than ever intended:
an extrapolation of the
sweet process of discovery.
At nine they pulled you away,
unwilling limbs stretching
far from our secret nest.
I mourned and denied your memory.
At eleven our lives collided.
We tried to reconnect, to be as one,
but voyeurs and our own timidity
caught our hands and froze our tongues.
We truly believed we could
deceive the world, with all
our cleverly coded interactions
our wickedly innocent fumblings;
Recapture the magic of
your skin heating mine
your hair tangling with mine
your lips wetting mine.
Now, at this late hour,
another's head of black hair
rests heavily on my chest,
warm eyes caressing my face.
Another's soft brown lips
speak words of undying love
with ticklish breaths as
another's fingers capture mine.
And I shall not use again
all we learned early in the day,
For I have long since let you go:
Opened these pale arms to love.
~~~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~
You've Dipped a Toe in, Now Come Swim... <--More Poems
Friday 24 December 2004
I Have This Gift To Bring
One Year
I made for my family
on Christmas morn early
a magnificent dreamcatcher
glimmering with the dark eyes
of peacock feathers and laughing
with the tinkling of beads.
Its cord was stretched taught
over a tarnished metal hoop
I laid it out carefully
under the tree
shaking with cold and anticipation
Another Year
I brought from the haze of Buenos Aires
an old peso, no longer in circulation,
its Sun face a bright gold,
a proud "1" displayed.
Quartered and attached
to four black strings: you could
pull it apart to make four sharp
necklaces to scratch the unwary
My father's hangs on his briefcase
Mine from my unused keychain
I have not seen the other two since
This Year
I bring them four plates
in the "Talavera" style from Puebla
newpaper-wrapped and carried in
a bag whose strap dug into my shoulder.
Green with fancy edges for papá
Blue and traditional for mamá
Sunflowers and lilies for mi hermana
And the sun and moon for mí misma
Let the food lie plentiful on these plates
and easy in their stomachs
for the rest of their lives.
They have grown used to my
unexpected gifts,
oddly prophetic as they are -
I know that a chance encounter
with any strange item
will make them think of me.
~~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~~
Take Your Time, the Poems Have Just Begun... <-- More Poetry
I made for my family
on Christmas morn early
a magnificent dreamcatcher
glimmering with the dark eyes
of peacock feathers and laughing
with the tinkling of beads.
Its cord was stretched taught
over a tarnished metal hoop
I laid it out carefully
under the tree
shaking with cold and anticipation
Another Year
I brought from the haze of Buenos Aires
an old peso, no longer in circulation,
its Sun face a bright gold,
a proud "1" displayed.
Quartered and attached
to four black strings: you could
pull it apart to make four sharp
necklaces to scratch the unwary
My father's hangs on his briefcase
Mine from my unused keychain
I have not seen the other two since
This Year
I bring them four plates
in the "Talavera" style from Puebla
newpaper-wrapped and carried in
a bag whose strap dug into my shoulder.
Green with fancy edges for papá
Blue and traditional for mamá
Sunflowers and lilies for mi hermana
And the sun and moon for mí misma
Let the food lie plentiful on these plates
and easy in their stomachs
for the rest of their lives.
They have grown used to my
unexpected gifts,
oddly prophetic as they are -
I know that a chance encounter
with any strange item
will make them think of me.
~~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~~
Take Your Time, the Poems Have Just Begun... <-- More Poetry
Wednesday 22 December 2004
Mix CDs and Party Central
I have been making one mix CD after another. I use only my CDs or mp3s we have paid for, so no worries. Beyond that, I've been kept hopping being little Miss Social Butterfly this month. From juggling my friends and shopping to my parents' Annual Holiday Party this past Saturday, not to mention reading and singing at church, I've been flapping my wings like crazy.
The holiday party went off with a minumum of hitches. Hopefully I'll get pictures back sometime soon. Everytime I got up to do something, someone would grab me to talk; people I hadn't seen in ages or had never met. I barely ate anything, yet I managed to feel full all night. I kept gnoshing on mom's outrageously good dill dip and various desserts as we cleaned up the party rooms. Luckily, our house was made for parties like this. From the back "secret" passageway (for quick movement without stepping on guests) to the spacious rooms and many chairs, our house has quite the set up. However, I did have to abandon my friends on numerous occasions. Oh well, what can you do, but play the hostess and let everyone tell you how cute that little pointsettia flower looks in your hair?
A few days before the party, we had a raucous good time, me regaling my friends with some amusing tales, and woohoo-ing around the neighborhood. When we ate Chinese food and went shopping with Jason, we had some good times as well. But, much hilarity ensued all in all, among the stress. Last night I finally finished with presents. I don't care, I'm not buying any more. No matter what anyone says.
Hung out at Christine's tree-trimming party on Sunday, while Emblem was way too sick to be around, and took off before the snow started. I swear my room is so nice and cozy in winter. I love sitting up at night and staring out at the snow falling on the trees. I love winter! Also, got a raise on Monday and my bonus check, too!
I also heard from Amna on Monday night (trying to wrap gifts, natch) and she tried to get me to take a detour to LA on our San Francisco trip. Right, that 8 hour drive is so not happening, though I am worried that her husband might be overly possessive, and that she's having trouble with her 10-month old baby. Baked cookies yesterday with Alex until 1:00 in the morning; we got seriously loopy and remembered good times with LB.
Anyway, future plans include: finding and booking a flight to Chile. Church and the J-D family's house on Christmas Eve. Family, Food, and Movies on Christmas. Crazy family visits the days after Christmas. And, insane amounts of food and eggnog! Going to San Francisco on my birthday and coming back again. Going to Chile for a month. Coming back and being depressed. Did I leave anything out? No? Good.
List of Names of Mix CDs I want to make:
Introspective
Sexy
Off The Walls
Painful
Eclectic I, II, III, IV
Dancing Music
Water
Temporary Soundtrack: Candy Perfume Girl - Madonna
Quote Trapped in My Head: "It's as sterile as chess // Nobody'd guess // You were touching me between the love of God and sister mercy" - I Don't Want to Think About It - Wild Strawberries.
The holiday party went off with a minumum of hitches. Hopefully I'll get pictures back sometime soon. Everytime I got up to do something, someone would grab me to talk; people I hadn't seen in ages or had never met. I barely ate anything, yet I managed to feel full all night. I kept gnoshing on mom's outrageously good dill dip and various desserts as we cleaned up the party rooms. Luckily, our house was made for parties like this. From the back "secret" passageway (for quick movement without stepping on guests) to the spacious rooms and many chairs, our house has quite the set up. However, I did have to abandon my friends on numerous occasions. Oh well, what can you do, but play the hostess and let everyone tell you how cute that little pointsettia flower looks in your hair?
A few days before the party, we had a raucous good time, me regaling my friends with some amusing tales, and woohoo-ing around the neighborhood. When we ate Chinese food and went shopping with Jason, we had some good times as well. But, much hilarity ensued all in all, among the stress. Last night I finally finished with presents. I don't care, I'm not buying any more. No matter what anyone says.
Hung out at Christine's tree-trimming party on Sunday, while Emblem was way too sick to be around, and took off before the snow started. I swear my room is so nice and cozy in winter. I love sitting up at night and staring out at the snow falling on the trees. I love winter! Also, got a raise on Monday and my bonus check, too!
I also heard from Amna on Monday night (trying to wrap gifts, natch) and she tried to get me to take a detour to LA on our San Francisco trip. Right, that 8 hour drive is so not happening, though I am worried that her husband might be overly possessive, and that she's having trouble with her 10-month old baby. Baked cookies yesterday with Alex until 1:00 in the morning; we got seriously loopy and remembered good times with LB.
Anyway, future plans include: finding and booking a flight to Chile. Church and the J-D family's house on Christmas Eve. Family, Food, and Movies on Christmas. Crazy family visits the days after Christmas. And, insane amounts of food and eggnog! Going to San Francisco on my birthday and coming back again. Going to Chile for a month. Coming back and being depressed. Did I leave anything out? No? Good.
List of Names of Mix CDs I want to make:
Introspective
Sexy
Off The Walls
Painful
Eclectic I, II, III, IV
Dancing Music
Water
Tuesday 21 December 2004
Insane Survey You'd Have to Pay Me to Take
001. What is your name? Mandala
002. Spell your name backwards: ruoy eman
003. Date of birth: 30 December 1980
004. Male or female? Femenina
005. Astrological sign: You can figure this one out.
006. Nicknames: Manna, Mandala, Mandrake, La Reina, Killah
007. Occupation: Account Executive, Help Desk, etc.
008. Height: 5'8" maybe?
009. Weight: ??? (I honestly don't know. I don't weigh myself.)<-- aye, aye, LB. I don't know how much I weigh.
010. Hair color: Dark brown with red highlights.
011. Eye color: Blue like the Sky.
012. Where were you born? In a hospital, unless my life up 'til now has been one huge lie.
013. Where do you reside now: Rockland County NY
014. Age: You can surely handle simple arithmetic.
015. Screen names: How about you tell me yours, and I contact you.
016. Are you online often? Yes, but I'm working during the day.
017. What does your screen name stand for? A native american spirit/healer.
018. What is your diary name? I don't name inanimate objects that could spill my secrets. And you can look at the title to my blog.
019. What does your diary name stand for? So, there was this hummingbird, right, and he was drinking this maple syrup, straight from the bottle, the way I knock back whipped cream, with his little sucking mouth. And he was going bucknutty.
020. Pets: I wish.
021. Number of candles you blew out on your last birthday cake? - I once set the altar flowers on fire by accident. Now I just eat cake in peace.
022. Piercings? - Six, all in my ears.
023. Tattoo's? - See the tattoo post for details.
024. Shoe size? - 7 1/2 or 8.
025. Righty or lefty? - Left with the mouse and select other things, right for drawing and writing.
026. Wearing: Brown suede pants and a lace-up dusky blue shirt.
027. Hearing: The heating system at work and my boss talking.
028. Feeling: Eager.
029. Eating/drinking: Triscuits. I forgot my water. Make 028 say "Dehydrated."
~Friends Stuff~
Which one of your friends is the....
030. Craziest? - Literally? Me.
031. Loudest? - Sarsie.
032. Nicest? - All of my friends are really sweet.
033. Bitchiest? - Why would I have bitchy friends?
034. Life of the party? - I'm the life of the party? That is so stellar! Ummm, Jayson. And Sarsie is the life of all parties.
035. Jock? - My boyfriend, the weightlifter. Hello!
036. Prep? - Christine.
037. Rebel? - Like I know any James Deans.
038. Cutest? - Cooky the dog or Mittens the cat.
039. Best friend of the same sex? - Don't make me pick one.
040. Best friend of the opposite sex? - Cole Slaw, but he's like my brother. But my boyfriend is my best guy pal,and Dan from school...
041. Most popular? - Are we in junior high here?
042. Rudest? - Again, why would I have rude friends?
043. Most shy? - I think you can say "shyest" here...anyway, Ian.
044. Most clueless? - Drunk or sober?
045. Smartest? - We are all intelligent in different ways.
046. Weirdest? - Me again. Aside from me, Raj.
047. Has the best hair? - Amna; I want her hair!
048. Best personality? - I like all of my friends' personalities.
049. Most talented? - We each express talents in distinct areas of life.
050. Most ghetto? - I'm going to ignore this one...
051. Most spoiled? - Have to agree with you, LB. But in a good way. 'Cuz you deserve it.
052. Drama queen? - Vicky.
053. Pain in the ass? - Thorny.
054. Funniest? - Michelle and Sarsie.
055. Best advice giver? - Raj and Christine.
056. Druggie? - Dude, like I'd tell you?
057. Most likely to join a cult? - Out of left field much? Probably Steve's evil twin.
058. Have you lost touch with a good friend recently? - Always.
059. Person you've been friends with the longest? - Michelle technically wins, though we lost touch for a while, so Lori.
060. How many friends do you have on your buddy list? - I'm not counting. A few.
~Love/Other Stuff~
061. Have you ever been in love? - I have.
062. How many people have you told "I love you"? Besides my friends and family? Two.
063. How many people have you been in love with? - Just one, I believe.
064. How many people have said I love you to you? - Five, not counting friends and family and playfulness.
065. Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex? - Of course.
066. How many people have you dated? - I don't know, seven or eight?
068. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? - His package. No, seriously, height.
069. What do you look for? - In a potential mate? Good genes. Actually, smile lines, or lack thereof; sincerity; idealism; motivation; similar or complementary ideas on the universe; tolerance; patience.
070. Do you have a bf/gf? - No boyfriend. No girlfriend.
071. If so where did you meet them? - Last boyfriend -->In a bar in Santiago, Chile.
072. What do you like most about your bf/gf?
073. Do you have a crush right now? - Never had one.
074. If so who is it? - Riiiiight. Moving on....
075. Do you believe in love at first sight? - Not on your life.
076. Do you remember your first love? - Considering it was only a few months ago, yes.
077. Who is the first person you really liked? - In a "let's go out way?" I'd rather not say.
078. Do you believe in fate? - "There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy." - HAMLET, Act 1, Scene 5.
079. Do you believe in soul mates? - "I do, but not as in someone you'll marry. Someone you're connected to so immensely you can't imagine not having them in your life. That is my definition."<-- nice, Lori. People change so much, that the most you can hope for is to have someone who changes with you, or someone willing to adapt to you, let you grow into them, teach you and learn from you. Or a set of people for the different people you are in your life.
080. If so do you believe you'll ever find yours? - As far as friends go, I can read some peoples' thoughts, I know them so well. And I've been pretty happy before, but I'm too mercurial for any one person to deal with.
~Family Stuff~
104. How many siblings do you have? - One.
105. What are your parents names? - V. and D.
106. What are your siblings' names? - Emblem
107. How many siblings does your mother have? - Three.
108. How many siblings does your father have? - Zero.
109. Where are your parents from? - Newburgh/Manhattan.
110. Is your family close? - Mom's side, sort of. On my Dad's, I wouldn't know them if they came up to me on the street. Though we recently had a family reunion, so now I'd know distant cousins that would never be on my street anyway.
111. Does your family get together for holidays? - Mostly, when they're talking.
112. Do you have a drunk uncle? - What the-not anymore.
113. Any medical problems run through your family? - Several types of cancer, poor eyesight, diabetes, high blood pressure, etc.
114. Does someone in your family wear a toupee? - Not that I know of.
115. Do you have any nieces or nephews? - Good golly, no. I do have a godson, though. :-)
116. Are your parents divorced? - No.
117. Do you have stepparents? - No.
118. Has your family ever disowned another member of your family? - Not so formally.
119. If so for what? - Why do you want to know?
120. Did some of your family come to the United States from another country? A long time ago. And recently, probably, from Ireland.
~Music Stuff~
121. What song do you swear was written about you or your life? - Rushian by State Radio; Dracula Moon by Joan Osborne, Island by Ben Taylor.
122. What's the most embarrasing CD you own? - Something my aunt gave me called Cool Traxx.
124. What song do you absolutely hate? - You Are So Beautiful to Me. Don't ask, evil memories. And most Rod Stewart songs.
125. Do you sing in the shower? - Yes, and recite poetry too.
126. What song reminds you of that special someone? I Will Love You by Fisher; Sombra Negra by Totó La Momposina; Carry You by Dispatch.
~Favorites~
152. Color: Rainbow. And all shades of turquoise.
153. Food: Italian, pebre, dessert. Whipped Cream.
154. Song: How can I pick just one?
155. Show: They've all been cancelled.
156. School subject: When I was in school? Art.
157. Band/singer: Dispatch/Joan Osborne. I can't pick just one here either.
158. Animal: Leopard, wolf.
159. Outfit: My Turquoise wrap from Mexico, Black pants, comfy shoes, and some crazy shirt.
160. Radio station: Indie.
161. Movie: See The Lists post.
162. Pair of shoes: My three-inch Gold heels. Just kidding. My black sandals.
163. Cartoon: Still on? Teen Titans. Before? Talespin.
164. Actor: I don't really follow actors or actresses.
165. Actress: ...
166. Potato chip: Rrrrruffles.
167. Drink: This time of year? Eggnog. Otherwise, Orange Creme.
168. Alcholic drink: Mudslide. Or Pina Colada.
169. Holiday: Three Kings' Day. What, what did I say?
170. Perfume/cologne: Ooh, I know this one. I spent hours checking out perfume not a few days ago. I like Beyond Paradise, Moschino Couture, Escada Island Kiss, and Shi.
171. Pizza topping: Ziti.
172. Jello flavor: I'm not a big fan of jello. Too many jello salads back in the day. I guess orange.
173. Lunch meat: Turkey.
174. Board game: Mindtrap.
175. Video game: Riiiight. I like PC games.
176. Website: I can't pick. Neopets is fun for a diversion
177. Book: Don't even ATTEMPT to ask me to pick one. See The Lists post.
178. Computer game: The Longest Journey and Syberia. Myst rocked, The Jounreyman Project Trilogy, Dark Fall.
179. Number: 24, 64, 7.77
180. Cereal: Honey Bunches.
181. Comedian: I don't really follow...Margaret Cho.
182. Dessert: Canolis, Mom's Pilgrim Pie, Poke Cake, mmmm homemade whipped cream...oh, rapture!
183. Disney character: Don't have one.
184. Clothing store: Online shopping. Forever 21, Rampage.
185. Pasttime: Art-related stuff.
187. Childhood toy: My imagination. The climbing tree. And the pumpkin dollhouse from France.
188. Carnival game/ride: Spent hours at Quassy riding whatever rides we wanted. If you know Quassy, wave your carousel-horse pencil proudly.
189. Candy: Peppermint bark, yum! York mints and white-chocolate peanut butter cups.
190. Magazine: I don't have a favorite mag, but Spin is fun, as is EW. The NY Times Magazine, when I can catch it.
191. Salad Dressing: RANCH.
192. Thing to do on the weekend: Destroy evil monarchies.
193. Hot drink: Hot chocolate with a candy cane in it.
194. Season: Winter or summer.
195. Sport to watch: Football.
196. Person to talk to online: I like to talk to all my friends online. Lori makes me laugh, Ian is a scream, Dan is fun.
~Your Bedroom/Sleeping Habits~
197. What color are your sheets? Light purple with patterns. - Unless I have the orange ones on...
198. What color are your bedroom walls? - Cream.
199. Have posters on your wall? - The eyes! The eyes! They follow me. I have pictures, and drawings, but no dreaded posters.
200. If so of what? ...
201. Do you have a tv in your bedroom? - Not anymore.
202. How many pillows are on your bed? - A billion. Plus two billion stuffed animals. Let's see...a body pillow (love it!), two regularish pillows, four throw pillows, two lumbar pillows...
203. What do you normally sleep in? - Besides a bed? Wraps/things that let me move and keep me cool.
204. Describe your favorite pair of pajamas: - Pajamas and me, not so much, cachai?
205. What size bed do you have? - Twin.
206. Do you have a waterbed/bunkbed/daybed? - No.
207. Do you have your own phone line in your bedroom? - No, my house has three already.
208. Do you listen to music while trying to fall asleep? - Now and then.
209. Describe the last nightmare you had: - You don't want to go down that road. My dreams are really trippy.
210. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? - The stuffed animals let me sleep in their bed, whilst they sleep in it, around it, and all over my room.
211. How many people can comfortably sleep in your bed? - Me and a ghost who feels no pain. I kick. Hard.
212. Do you sleep in any unusual positions? - All the time.
213. Do you have to share your bedroom with a sibling? - Nope.
214. Do you snore? - No, I talk in my sleep, sometimes in strange languages. My most recent bout had me saying: "No, I don't want to go out with you!" and laughing fakely. Or so Emblem tells me.
215. How about drool? - Never.
216. Do you have an alarm clock in your room? - Of course.
217. What color is the carpet in your room? - Light beige-pink.
218. What's under your bed? - The Land of Lost Items. Run by a peaceful tribe of dollclothians, the Land of Lost Items is a small, independent nation with bizarre landforms, including unused paper and scrapbooking material, as well as earrings, hair clips, and the dreaded Dust Bunnies. -- Paid for by the LOLI tourist council.
~Preferences~
219. Coke/Pepsi: Ginger Ale. Seagram's.
220. Doughnuts/bagels: Bagels. We're New Yorkers. What'd you expect?
221. Day/night: Late night/early daytime. Sunsets and sunrises.
222. Wicked witch of the east/wicked witch of the west: The whole compass.
223. Heaven/hell: I've got heaven wrapped up.
224. Make love/have sex: Make love.
225. Coffee/tea: Neither.
226. Hamburgers/hotdogs: Hamburger.
227. Rap/rock: Rock!!!
228. Britney/Christina: Do I have to? Aguilera.
229. Swiss cheese/american cheese: Cheddar. Fine, Swiss.
230. Real World/Road Rules: Don't make me watch these insipid shows.
231. Backstreet Boys/*Nsync: *Runs away screaming...*
232. Silver/gold: Both, please.
233. Nike/Adidas: I don't care.
234. McDonalds/Taco Bell: Wendy's.
235. Sweet/sour: Sweet. Like me. Sure.
236. Punk/emo: Both. At once. Loudly.
237. Hot/cold: Cold.
238. Winter/summer: Winter.
239. Spring/fall: Spring.
240. Operas/plays: Rock operas.
241. Read/watch tv: READ.
242. CD's/Tapes: CD.
243. DVDs/VHS: DVDs.
244. Old/new: Old/new what?
245. Shorts/skirts: Skirts all the way, hips to thighs to knees to toes, baby!
246. Pink/red: Red.
247. Color pictures/black and white photos: B/W with color accents are so cool. Generally color.
248. Meat/vegetables: Both. With rice.
249. Mexican food/chinese food: Chinese unless we're actually in Mexico.
250. Commercials/infomercials: Fast forward.
251. Scary movies/comedies: Scary
252. Bikinis/one piece bathing suits: Two piece suits.
253. Sandals/tennis shoes: Either. Just not one of each at a time.
254. Dogs/cats: Both.
255. Unicorns/fairies: What about them? They exist. Pick one? I'd rather be magic.
256. Water/land: Waterfalls.
257. Sugar/spice: Spice.
258. Black/white: Gray.
259. Ribbons/bows: Ribbons.
260. Chicken/beef: Eat More Chikin.
261. Colored christmas lights/white christmas lights: Colored.
262. Cars/trucks: Cars.
263. Austin Powers/James Bond: Bond.
264. Popcorn/pretzels: Pretzels.
265. Hip/hop: Hipshake, hopback.
266. Passionate kiss/peck: Depends on who's kissing whom.
267. WWE wrestling/ real wrestling: Real, if I must.
268. Backrub/foot massage: Backrub, I'm way too ticklish. Let's just skip the massage...
269. Picture frames/photo albums: ALBUMS!
270. Pens/pencils: Pencils. Mechanical ones.
~What Is Your Opinion Of The Following~
271. Eminem: Eh. Not as good as the candy.
272. Sports: Good to move.
273. God: I like the deity, don't get me wrong. Inspired some good music.
274. The Osbournes: I'd like to see the mother with purple hair...
275. Reality TV: Kill it! Let it die. Except for Queer Eye and decorating shows.
276. J.Lo: She's nice, hope it all goes well for her. She can give me money anytime.
277. Religion: Which one?
278. Emo music: Need to get the feelings out.
279. Valentine's Day: Cupid freaks me out, man. Why naked toddlers are all over the streets and stores is beyond me.
280. Christina Aguilera's comeback: The whole blonde bombshell from the 40s thing is ok. When will we live in a society where I can wear what I want without being labelled a whore or a messed-up little girl?
281. Homosexuals: need to be given equal rights <-- Right on, LB. People are people. Some are just cooler than others.
282. Abortion: My body, my life, my decision.
283. Interracial relationships: What is race?
284. Murder: Murder she wrote...da da da da dum, da da dun, da dah...
285. Death: Angel of,
286. Obesity: A growing problem.
287. Pre-marital sex: Try before you buy. Just wear a helmet and gloves, please.
288. Terrorism: One man's nationalism is another man's terrorism. Notice I said man. Killing others = bad.
289. Pornography: The story of porn.
290. Fortune tellers: They tell you your fortune will decrease. There was this gypsy (actually, I've run into quite a few of the Roma, but almost no real ones) who scared me with her ferocious need to tell me I had pretty eyes and that they could probably see the future.
291. Threesomes: Can make or break a relationship...actually, just break it.
292. Prostitution: Not so good.
294. Country music: Very little.
295. George W. Bush: is the world's worst magician, and a dangerous man.
296. Cloning: Can we clone my boss? We need his brain desperately.
297. Britney's boobs: Are none of my business. I care more about her plans to have many children.
298. Gas prices in America: I don't have a car.
~Name Game~
What Do You Think Of When You Hear These Common Names?...
299. Jack: Of All Trades.
300. Tiffany: Blue Box, or I think we're alone now...
301. Ben: Vereen
302. Mariah: Pariah
303. Jennifer: Lopez
304. Nicole: Nicolette
305. Amy: Sarsie's other name! YAY!
306. Adam: Edom cheese
307. Richard: Limp dick
308. Justin: Time Document Service. Yay Brazil!
309. Arnold: Tom
310. Tom: My crazy frisbee-chucking co-worker
311. Melissa: Etheridge?
312. Charlotte: Charleston chews
313. Harold: and his Purple Crayon
314. John: Port-O-
315. Joel: Jowls
316. Vanessa: Williams
317. Michelle: Excellent!
318. Kevin: Tevin Tsosie
319. Brent: ?
320. Karen: K.K.!
321. Billy: Goat
322. Sarah: Pretty and Short
323. Natalie: Buon Natale
324. Christy: I don't know any Christy...except that model.
325. Nick: Saint
326. Linda: Beautiful
327. Taylor: Dayne
328. Jordan: Air
329. Jaime: ?
330. Adrian: Brody
~Have You Ever....~
331. Mooned anyone? - No.
332. Been on a diet? - Not so much.
333. Been to a foreign country? - Several.
334. Broken a bone? - Knock on wood...
335. Swallowed a tooth/cap/filling? - No.
336. Sworn at a teacher? - I don't believe so.
337. Talked to an LJ member via e-mails or instant message? - Only Lori.
338. Gotten in a fight? - Lots of times.
339. Dated a teacher? - Ewww.
340. Laughed so hard you peed your pants? - No, fortunately not.
341. Thought about killing your enemy? - Yes.
342. Gone skinny dipping? - Probably. Checking memory banks...nope.
343. Met another LJ member in the flesh? - Probably.
344. Told a little white lie? - Just one?
345. Told a secret you swore not to tell? - I don't think so.
346. Used a foreign object to masturbate? - As in, made in China?
347. Misused a swear word and it sounded absolutely stupid? - I don't swear often. Maybe in another language.
348. Been on TV? - I sit on the TV sometimes, 'cuz I'm a cat.
349. Been on the radio? - I hope not. I sound like a kid on the phone.
350. Been in a mosh pit? - Most likely.
351. Been to a concert? - Several.
352. Dated one of your best friends? - Next question...
353. Loved someone so much it makes you cry? - Yes.
354. Deceived somebody close to you? - Wouldn't be human if I hadn't.
355. Broken the law? - Marginally, yes.
356. Been to a rodeo? - YES!
357. Been on a talk show? - In the audience.
358. Been on a game show? - Not on your life.
359. Been on an airplane? - Inside it many a time.
360. Gotten to ride on a firetruck? - Ummm...I'm not sure. Probably not.
361. Came close to dying? - Sort of.
362. Cheated on a bf/gf? - Yes.
363. Gave someone a piggy back ride? - Of course.
364. Terrorized a babysitter? - Yes.
365. Made a mud pie? - I doubt it.
366. Had a dream that you're falling off a cliff? - Every night.
367. Snuck out of the house at night? - Whose house? Yes.
368. Been so drunk you don't remember your name? - NO!
369. Had an eating disorder? - No, never felt the need.
370. Felt like you didn't belong? - Anyone who says no is lying.
371. Felt like the 3rd wheel? - Often.
372. Smoked? - Secondhand.
373. Done drugs? - Prescription only.
374. Stolen money from a poor person begging on the street? - Who wrote this survey?
375. Had your tonsils removed? - *Shudder* no.
376. Gone to camp? - Several.
377. Won a bet? - Never collected on it.
378. Written a love letter? - Many.
379. Gone out of your way to be with the one you love? - Contintent-hopping enough out of the way for you?
380. Written a love poem? - Read the poems section.
381. Kissed in the rain? - Mmmm...that was nice.
382. Slow danced with someone you love? - Yes, ma'am.
383. Participated in cyber sex? - Long distance relationship? Hello?
384. Stolen something from a store? - Not intentionally.
385. Stolen a kiss? - Thief of hearts, that's me.
386. Asked a friend for relationship advice? - All the time.
387. Had a friend steal your bf/gf? - Never.
388. Watched the sunset/rise with someone special? - Mmmm..that was the best.
389. Gotten a speeding ticket? - No, don't Jinx me. Only done 90+ in Lori's car.
390. Done jail time? - I can still be hired as a convicted felon, right?
391. Had to wear a uniform to work? - No.
392. Won a trophy? - I believe so.
393. Thrown up in public? - How public are we talking here? In front of people I don't know well? Yes.
394. Bowled a perfect game? - No, sadly, my mom's prowess as a bowler was never taught to me.
395. Failed/got held back? - I failed a quiz once in the fifth grade.
396. Gotten perfect attendance in grade school? - Not likely.
397. Roasted pumpkin seeds? - We used to.
398. Taken ballet lessons? - For 15 years.
399. Attempted suicide? - ...
400. Cut yourself? - Who hasn't gotten a little cut now and then? It's not as if I live in a bubble.
~Childhood Stuff~
401. Did you play with Barbies? - Yes. My favorite was Moroccan barbie. She had the coolest outfit and hair.
402. Did you own Treasure Trolls? - No.
403. Did you watch Beverly Hills 90210? - Only when my sister had control of the TV. And I usually ran screaming from the room.
407. Did you believe there were monsters in your closet or under your bed? - Just the Land of Lost Items.
408. Did you wear underwear with the days of the week on them? - What would be the point?
409. Were you shy? - Eventually.
410. Were you spoiled? - Not so much.
411. Were you abused? - What kind of abuse?
412. Did you go to the circus? - Sometimes. I tried to run away but I was too wild for the circus to take in.
413. Did you go to the zoo?- Yes
414. Were you ever in a car accident? - Three. But never while I was driving.
415. Did you build snowmen? - Every large snowfall.
416. Did you cry when you scraped your knee? - Probably.
417. Were your older cousins mean to you? ...
418. Did you think slinkies were cool? - They were interesting from a physics point of view.
419. Did you think the Ninja Turtles really lived in the sewer? - I was mostly able to distinguish life from movies.
420. Were you afraid of the dark? - A little bit. More afraid of the unknown.
421. Did you have slumber parties? - Yes, but a lot more sleepovers.
422. Did you have New Kids On The Block sheets, sleeping bags and pajamas? - Pajamas that I never wore. Wearing their faces on my 11-year old body seemed inappropriate and creepy.
424. Did you believe in the Easter Bunny/Santa Claus/ and the Tooth Fairy? - Santa Claus brings me gifts. The old EB brings me candy and the Tooth Fairy gave me money. Why question free stuff?
~Randomness~
425. Do you believe in aliens? - Illegal or UFO-driving?
426. Name 3 things that are next to your computer: - This computer? Unused speakers, fancy electronic key fob with changing passcode, calendar for 2005.
427. Any hidden talents? - I'm not at liberty to divulge that information.
428. Do you wish MTV would play music videos? - That would be nice.
429. If you were to star in a movie, what kind of movie would it be? - A fantasy or eerie thriller/drama.
430. What would your movie star name be? - What's wrong with Mandala Reina?
431. Do you play any sports? - Used to dance (still do, just not regularly). I play when it's warm enough to do so.
432. What's the scariest movie you've ever seen? - When I was little, Something Wicked This Way Comes.
433. What is the best movie you've seen in the theater or rented recently? - Rabbit Proof Fence.
434. What is the dumbest movie you've ever seen? - Ace Ventura movies.
435. Do you drive? - Not Miss Daisy.
436. What is your dream car? - A car.
437. What kind of car does your family most often drive? - Mazda 626 or Honda Accord.
438. Do others think you are good looking? - Shut up, Lori, you're pretty! I'm too sexy for this survey, too sexy for this sur-what?
439. Would you ever sky dive? - Let's go!
440. Do you believe in Bigfoot? - Perhaps, if I thought he had a good plan. I'm sure he'll go far in life.
442. Are you afraid of roller coasters? - Only if they hurt my neck.
443. Do you believe in God? - Good exists.
444. Do you believe in Satan? - Evil exists. Thanks, Piers Anthony.
445. Do you believe there is a heaven? - Didn't we go over this already?
446. Do you believe there is a hell? - This survey was made somewhere, right?
447. Do you own a pool table? - Actually, yes, it's downstairs buried under many other surprising things.
448. Do you have a pool? - Where would I put it?
449. Do you have a dishwasher in your kitchen? - It's a free-standing one.
450. Do you like chocolate? - Like is not a strong enough word.
451. Who/what is on your 2005 calendar? - Paintings by Native American artists.
452. Oooh, Eeeh, ooh ahh ahh, ching, chang, walla walla bing bang.
453. Wished on a shooting star? - Yes, Jiminy, now stop chirping before I step on you.
454. Best Halloween costume you ever wore? - I liked my Hindu goddess one this year.
455. Do you carry any weapons on you? - Just the knife, and that was only for a period of a few weeks.
456. What is your weakness? - Fear of failing.
457. Name something you can't get enough of: Freedom
458. Do you ever want to get married? - Probably.
459. How many kids do you want to have? - None.
460. Future daughters' names: !!
461. Future sons' names: @@
462. What is your ideal way to die? - Not to.
463. How do you release stress? - Dance like a maniac. Draw, write poetry.
464. Are you a trendy person? - No.
465. Are you an artistic person? - What does that mean, artistic person? I like the arts, and people say I am artistic, so perhaps.
466. Are you a realistic person? - Pragmatic, but I daydream all the time.
467. Do you untie your shoes every time you take them off? - Almost never.
468. Are you a strong person? - Intense.
469. Are you a strong-willed person? - Very: when it counts I won't give up.
470. Who was the last person to e-mail you? - Christine.
471. Who was the last person to IM you? - Crys, and then I bailed on him.
472. Do you hate chain e-mails? - If you send me one, you will disappear off the face of the earth.
473. Are you a deep sleeper? - Not usually.
474. Are you a good story teller? - On paper more so than in person, but I'm working on it.
475. What do you believe is your best quality? - Creativity. Adaptability and Resourcefulness.
476. What is your greatest accomplishment? - Membership in PBK (*blush*). Dance recitals, too.
477. Do you like to burn candles or incense? - Candles. Vanilla, preferably.
479. Do you have your own credit card? - I have one.
480. Let's say you win the lotto. What do you do with all that money? - How much money? Let's say 25 million, which means you actually get 12 million. So, I pay off my family's debts, help them repair both houses, and be with my love. Save, start up a business maybe, give some away, give some to family and friends.
481. Do you have a checkbook? - Several.
482. Do you like your driver's license picture? - I don't mind being 16, but it's off-center.
484. What color is your hair naturally? - Dark brown with red highlights.
486. How many cavities did you have at your last dentist visit? - Don't remind me.
487. Is the glass half full or half empty? - I drink straight from the bottle. Fortunately, my drink of choice is water. Right now, that glass looks pretty mid-way to me. Want to measure with me?
489. Worst feeling in the world? - Hopelessness.
488. Best feeling in the world? - Euphoria so intense it fills you and lifts you up, makes you feel like you're floating. Mine comes from dancing or being with loved ones. I also like laughing so hard you can't breathe right.
489. Last website you were at? - Mine.
490. Last thing you downloaded? - Something for work.
491. Do you catch yourself using online terms in your real life? - Never.
492. What do you think people think of you? - Whatever they want to think.
493. Are you a likeable person? - Not usually. TRAP DOOR with the Sunshine thing, alright?
494. Do you need therapy? - Everyone does... If you don't, there's something wrong with you. <-- Right, Lori.
495. Do you take medication for a chemical imbalance? - Not yet.
496. What the best way to propose to someone? - With an open, honest heart and a ring.
497. What kind of movie would you star in? - We went over this already...
498. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge? - They would be Fed Up. Ha! Or FUX.
499. What's your favorite phrase? - Cálmate.
500. What are you thinking right now? - I love my new body lotion.
501. What character/characters in literature do you identify with? - Mercutio in Romeo and Juliet, Marcela in Don Quijote de la Mancha.
502. What movie character or characters do you identify with? - I'll have to think about this one.
Oh, God, why did I do that? That was insane. Well, anyway, I'm wiped. Peace out.
Temporary Soundtrack: River High - Chisel
Quote Trapped in My Head: "Men's eyes were made to look, and let them gaze; I will not budge for no man's pleasure, I." - Mercutio, Romeo and Juliet, Act 1 Scene 4.
002. Spell your name backwards: ruoy eman
003. Date of birth: 30 December 1980
004. Male or female? Femenina
005. Astrological sign: You can figure this one out.
006. Nicknames: Manna, Mandala, Mandrake, La Reina, Killah
007. Occupation: Account Executive, Help Desk, etc.
008. Height: 5'8" maybe?
009. Weight: ??? (I honestly don't know. I don't weigh myself.)<-- aye, aye, LB. I don't know how much I weigh.
010. Hair color: Dark brown with red highlights.
011. Eye color: Blue like the Sky.
012. Where were you born? In a hospital, unless my life up 'til now has been one huge lie.
013. Where do you reside now: Rockland County NY
014. Age: You can surely handle simple arithmetic.
015. Screen names: How about you tell me yours, and I contact you.
016. Are you online often? Yes, but I'm working during the day.
017. What does your screen name stand for? A native american spirit/healer.
018. What is your diary name? I don't name inanimate objects that could spill my secrets. And you can look at the title to my blog.
019. What does your diary name stand for? So, there was this hummingbird, right, and he was drinking this maple syrup, straight from the bottle, the way I knock back whipped cream, with his little sucking mouth. And he was going bucknutty.
020. Pets: I wish.
021. Number of candles you blew out on your last birthday cake? - I once set the altar flowers on fire by accident. Now I just eat cake in peace.
022. Piercings? - Six, all in my ears.
023. Tattoo's? - See the tattoo post for details.
024. Shoe size? - 7 1/2 or 8.
025. Righty or lefty? - Left with the mouse and select other things, right for drawing and writing.
026. Wearing: Brown suede pants and a lace-up dusky blue shirt.
027. Hearing: The heating system at work and my boss talking.
028. Feeling: Eager.
029. Eating/drinking: Triscuits. I forgot my water. Make 028 say "Dehydrated."
~Friends Stuff~
Which one of your friends is the....
030. Craziest? - Literally? Me.
031. Loudest? - Sarsie.
032. Nicest? - All of my friends are really sweet.
033. Bitchiest? - Why would I have bitchy friends?
034. Life of the party? - I'm the life of the party? That is so stellar! Ummm, Jayson. And Sarsie is the life of all parties.
035. Jock? - My boyfriend, the weightlifter. Hello!
036. Prep? - Christine.
037. Rebel? - Like I know any James Deans.
038. Cutest? - Cooky the dog or Mittens the cat.
039. Best friend of the same sex? - Don't make me pick one.
040. Best friend of the opposite sex? - Cole Slaw, but he's like my brother. But my boyfriend is my best guy pal,and Dan from school...
041. Most popular? - Are we in junior high here?
042. Rudest? - Again, why would I have rude friends?
043. Most shy? - I think you can say "shyest" here...anyway, Ian.
044. Most clueless? - Drunk or sober?
045. Smartest? - We are all intelligent in different ways.
046. Weirdest? - Me again. Aside from me, Raj.
047. Has the best hair? - Amna; I want her hair!
048. Best personality? - I like all of my friends' personalities.
049. Most talented? - We each express talents in distinct areas of life.
050. Most ghetto? - I'm going to ignore this one...
051. Most spoiled? - Have to agree with you, LB. But in a good way. 'Cuz you deserve it.
052. Drama queen? - Vicky.
053. Pain in the ass? - Thorny.
054. Funniest? - Michelle and Sarsie.
055. Best advice giver? - Raj and Christine.
056. Druggie? - Dude, like I'd tell you?
057. Most likely to join a cult? - Out of left field much? Probably Steve's evil twin.
058. Have you lost touch with a good friend recently? - Always.
059. Person you've been friends with the longest? - Michelle technically wins, though we lost touch for a while, so Lori.
060. How many friends do you have on your buddy list? - I'm not counting. A few.
~Love/Other Stuff~
061. Have you ever been in love? - I have.
062. How many people have you told "I love you"? Besides my friends and family? Two.
063. How many people have you been in love with? - Just one, I believe.
064. How many people have said I love you to you? - Five, not counting friends and family and playfulness.
065. Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex? - Of course.
066. How many people have you dated? - I don't know, seven or eight?
068. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? - His package. No, seriously, height.
069. What do you look for? - In a potential mate? Good genes. Actually, smile lines, or lack thereof; sincerity; idealism; motivation; similar or complementary ideas on the universe; tolerance; patience.
070. Do you have a bf/gf? - No boyfriend. No girlfriend.
071. If so where did you meet them? - Last boyfriend -->In a bar in Santiago, Chile.
072. What do you like most about your bf/gf?
073. Do you have a crush right now? - Never had one.
074. If so who is it? - Riiiiight. Moving on....
075. Do you believe in love at first sight? - Not on your life.
076. Do you remember your first love? - Considering it was only a few months ago, yes.
077. Who is the first person you really liked? - In a "let's go out way?" I'd rather not say.
078. Do you believe in fate? - "There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy." - HAMLET, Act 1, Scene 5.
079. Do you believe in soul mates? - "I do, but not as in someone you'll marry. Someone you're connected to so immensely you can't imagine not having them in your life. That is my definition."<-- nice, Lori. People change so much, that the most you can hope for is to have someone who changes with you, or someone willing to adapt to you, let you grow into them, teach you and learn from you. Or a set of people for the different people you are in your life.
080. If so do you believe you'll ever find yours? - As far as friends go, I can read some peoples' thoughts, I know them so well. And I've been pretty happy before, but I'm too mercurial for any one person to deal with.
~Family Stuff~
104. How many siblings do you have? - One.
105. What are your parents names? - V. and D.
106. What are your siblings' names? - Emblem
107. How many siblings does your mother have? - Three.
108. How many siblings does your father have? - Zero.
109. Where are your parents from? - Newburgh/Manhattan.
110. Is your family close? - Mom's side, sort of. On my Dad's, I wouldn't know them if they came up to me on the street. Though we recently had a family reunion, so now I'd know distant cousins that would never be on my street anyway.
111. Does your family get together for holidays? - Mostly, when they're talking.
112. Do you have a drunk uncle? - What the-not anymore.
113. Any medical problems run through your family? - Several types of cancer, poor eyesight, diabetes, high blood pressure, etc.
114. Does someone in your family wear a toupee? - Not that I know of.
115. Do you have any nieces or nephews? - Good golly, no. I do have a godson, though. :-)
116. Are your parents divorced? - No.
117. Do you have stepparents? - No.
118. Has your family ever disowned another member of your family? - Not so formally.
119. If so for what? - Why do you want to know?
120. Did some of your family come to the United States from another country? A long time ago. And recently, probably, from Ireland.
~Music Stuff~
121. What song do you swear was written about you or your life? - Rushian by State Radio; Dracula Moon by Joan Osborne, Island by Ben Taylor.
122. What's the most embarrasing CD you own? - Something my aunt gave me called Cool Traxx.
124. What song do you absolutely hate? - You Are So Beautiful to Me. Don't ask, evil memories. And most Rod Stewart songs.
125. Do you sing in the shower? - Yes, and recite poetry too.
126. What song reminds you of that special someone? I Will Love You by Fisher; Sombra Negra by Totó La Momposina; Carry You by Dispatch.
~Favorites~
152. Color: Rainbow. And all shades of turquoise.
153. Food: Italian, pebre, dessert. Whipped Cream.
154. Song: How can I pick just one?
155. Show: They've all been cancelled.
156. School subject: When I was in school? Art.
157. Band/singer: Dispatch/Joan Osborne. I can't pick just one here either.
158. Animal: Leopard, wolf.
159. Outfit: My Turquoise wrap from Mexico, Black pants, comfy shoes, and some crazy shirt.
160. Radio station: Indie.
161. Movie: See The Lists post.
162. Pair of shoes: My three-inch Gold heels. Just kidding. My black sandals.
163. Cartoon: Still on? Teen Titans. Before? Talespin.
164. Actor: I don't really follow actors or actresses.
165. Actress: ...
166. Potato chip: Rrrrruffles.
167. Drink: This time of year? Eggnog. Otherwise, Orange Creme.
168. Alcholic drink: Mudslide. Or Pina Colada.
169. Holiday: Three Kings' Day. What, what did I say?
170. Perfume/cologne: Ooh, I know this one. I spent hours checking out perfume not a few days ago. I like Beyond Paradise, Moschino Couture, Escada Island Kiss, and Shi.
171. Pizza topping: Ziti.
172. Jello flavor: I'm not a big fan of jello. Too many jello salads back in the day. I guess orange.
173. Lunch meat: Turkey.
174. Board game: Mindtrap.
175. Video game: Riiiight. I like PC games.
176. Website: I can't pick. Neopets is fun for a diversion
177. Book: Don't even ATTEMPT to ask me to pick one. See The Lists post.
178. Computer game: The Longest Journey and Syberia. Myst rocked, The Jounreyman Project Trilogy, Dark Fall.
179. Number: 24, 64, 7.77
180. Cereal: Honey Bunches.
181. Comedian: I don't really follow...Margaret Cho.
182. Dessert: Canolis, Mom's Pilgrim Pie, Poke Cake, mmmm homemade whipped cream...oh, rapture!
183. Disney character: Don't have one.
184. Clothing store: Online shopping. Forever 21, Rampage.
185. Pasttime: Art-related stuff.
187. Childhood toy: My imagination. The climbing tree. And the pumpkin dollhouse from France.
188. Carnival game/ride: Spent hours at Quassy riding whatever rides we wanted. If you know Quassy, wave your carousel-horse pencil proudly.
189. Candy: Peppermint bark, yum! York mints and white-chocolate peanut butter cups.
190. Magazine: I don't have a favorite mag, but Spin is fun, as is EW. The NY Times Magazine, when I can catch it.
191. Salad Dressing: RANCH.
192. Thing to do on the weekend: Destroy evil monarchies.
193. Hot drink: Hot chocolate with a candy cane in it.
194. Season: Winter or summer.
195. Sport to watch: Football.
196. Person to talk to online: I like to talk to all my friends online. Lori makes me laugh, Ian is a scream, Dan is fun.
~Your Bedroom/Sleeping Habits~
197. What color are your sheets? Light purple with patterns. - Unless I have the orange ones on...
198. What color are your bedroom walls? - Cream.
199. Have posters on your wall? - The eyes! The eyes! They follow me. I have pictures, and drawings, but no dreaded posters.
200. If so of what? ...
201. Do you have a tv in your bedroom? - Not anymore.
202. How many pillows are on your bed? - A billion. Plus two billion stuffed animals. Let's see...a body pillow (love it!), two regularish pillows, four throw pillows, two lumbar pillows...
203. What do you normally sleep in? - Besides a bed? Wraps/things that let me move and keep me cool.
204. Describe your favorite pair of pajamas: - Pajamas and me, not so much, cachai?
205. What size bed do you have? - Twin.
206. Do you have a waterbed/bunkbed/daybed? - No.
207. Do you have your own phone line in your bedroom? - No, my house has three already.
208. Do you listen to music while trying to fall asleep? - Now and then.
209. Describe the last nightmare you had: - You don't want to go down that road. My dreams are really trippy.
210. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? - The stuffed animals let me sleep in their bed, whilst they sleep in it, around it, and all over my room.
211. How many people can comfortably sleep in your bed? - Me and a ghost who feels no pain. I kick. Hard.
212. Do you sleep in any unusual positions? - All the time.
213. Do you have to share your bedroom with a sibling? - Nope.
214. Do you snore? - No, I talk in my sleep, sometimes in strange languages. My most recent bout had me saying: "No, I don't want to go out with you!" and laughing fakely. Or so Emblem tells me.
215. How about drool? - Never.
216. Do you have an alarm clock in your room? - Of course.
217. What color is the carpet in your room? - Light beige-pink.
218. What's under your bed? - The Land of Lost Items. Run by a peaceful tribe of dollclothians, the Land of Lost Items is a small, independent nation with bizarre landforms, including unused paper and scrapbooking material, as well as earrings, hair clips, and the dreaded Dust Bunnies. -- Paid for by the LOLI tourist council.
~Preferences~
219. Coke/Pepsi: Ginger Ale. Seagram's.
220. Doughnuts/bagels: Bagels. We're New Yorkers. What'd you expect?
221. Day/night: Late night/early daytime. Sunsets and sunrises.
222. Wicked witch of the east/wicked witch of the west: The whole compass.
223. Heaven/hell: I've got heaven wrapped up.
224. Make love/have sex: Make love.
225. Coffee/tea: Neither.
226. Hamburgers/hotdogs: Hamburger.
227. Rap/rock: Rock!!!
228. Britney/Christina: Do I have to? Aguilera.
229. Swiss cheese/american cheese: Cheddar. Fine, Swiss.
230. Real World/Road Rules: Don't make me watch these insipid shows.
231. Backstreet Boys/*Nsync: *Runs away screaming...*
232. Silver/gold: Both, please.
233. Nike/Adidas: I don't care.
234. McDonalds/Taco Bell: Wendy's.
235. Sweet/sour: Sweet. Like me. Sure.
236. Punk/emo: Both. At once. Loudly.
237. Hot/cold: Cold.
238. Winter/summer: Winter.
239. Spring/fall: Spring.
240. Operas/plays: Rock operas.
241. Read/watch tv: READ.
242. CD's/Tapes: CD.
243. DVDs/VHS: DVDs.
244. Old/new: Old/new what?
245. Shorts/skirts: Skirts all the way, hips to thighs to knees to toes, baby!
246. Pink/red: Red.
247. Color pictures/black and white photos: B/W with color accents are so cool. Generally color.
248. Meat/vegetables: Both. With rice.
249. Mexican food/chinese food: Chinese unless we're actually in Mexico.
250. Commercials/infomercials: Fast forward.
251. Scary movies/comedies: Scary
252. Bikinis/one piece bathing suits: Two piece suits.
253. Sandals/tennis shoes: Either. Just not one of each at a time.
254. Dogs/cats: Both.
255. Unicorns/fairies: What about them? They exist. Pick one? I'd rather be magic.
256. Water/land: Waterfalls.
257. Sugar/spice: Spice.
258. Black/white: Gray.
259. Ribbons/bows: Ribbons.
260. Chicken/beef: Eat More Chikin.
261. Colored christmas lights/white christmas lights: Colored.
262. Cars/trucks: Cars.
263. Austin Powers/James Bond: Bond.
264. Popcorn/pretzels: Pretzels.
265. Hip/hop: Hipshake, hopback.
266. Passionate kiss/peck: Depends on who's kissing whom.
267. WWE wrestling/ real wrestling: Real, if I must.
268. Backrub/foot massage: Backrub, I'm way too ticklish. Let's just skip the massage...
269. Picture frames/photo albums: ALBUMS!
270. Pens/pencils: Pencils. Mechanical ones.
~What Is Your Opinion Of The Following~
271. Eminem: Eh. Not as good as the candy.
272. Sports: Good to move.
273. God: I like the deity, don't get me wrong. Inspired some good music.
274. The Osbournes: I'd like to see the mother with purple hair...
275. Reality TV: Kill it! Let it die. Except for Queer Eye and decorating shows.
276. J.Lo: She's nice, hope it all goes well for her. She can give me money anytime.
277. Religion: Which one?
278. Emo music: Need to get the feelings out.
279. Valentine's Day: Cupid freaks me out, man. Why naked toddlers are all over the streets and stores is beyond me.
280. Christina Aguilera's comeback: The whole blonde bombshell from the 40s thing is ok. When will we live in a society where I can wear what I want without being labelled a whore or a messed-up little girl?
281. Homosexuals: need to be given equal rights <-- Right on, LB. People are people. Some are just cooler than others.
282. Abortion: My body, my life, my decision.
283. Interracial relationships: What is race?
284. Murder: Murder she wrote...da da da da dum, da da dun, da dah...
285. Death: Angel of,
286. Obesity: A growing problem.
287. Pre-marital sex: Try before you buy. Just wear a helmet and gloves, please.
288. Terrorism: One man's nationalism is another man's terrorism. Notice I said man. Killing others = bad.
289. Pornography: The story of porn.
290. Fortune tellers: They tell you your fortune will decrease. There was this gypsy (actually, I've run into quite a few of the Roma, but almost no real ones) who scared me with her ferocious need to tell me I had pretty eyes and that they could probably see the future.
291. Threesomes: Can make or break a relationship...actually, just break it.
292. Prostitution: Not so good.
294. Country music: Very little.
295. George W. Bush: is the world's worst magician, and a dangerous man.
296. Cloning: Can we clone my boss? We need his brain desperately.
297. Britney's boobs: Are none of my business. I care more about her plans to have many children.
298. Gas prices in America: I don't have a car.
~Name Game~
What Do You Think Of When You Hear These Common Names?...
299. Jack: Of All Trades.
300. Tiffany: Blue Box, or I think we're alone now...
301. Ben: Vereen
302. Mariah: Pariah
303. Jennifer: Lopez
304. Nicole: Nicolette
305. Amy: Sarsie's other name! YAY!
306. Adam: Edom cheese
307. Richard: Limp dick
308. Justin: Time Document Service. Yay Brazil!
309. Arnold: Tom
310. Tom: My crazy frisbee-chucking co-worker
311. Melissa: Etheridge?
312. Charlotte: Charleston chews
313. Harold: and his Purple Crayon
314. John: Port-O-
315. Joel: Jowls
316. Vanessa: Williams
317. Michelle: Excellent!
318. Kevin: Tevin Tsosie
319. Brent: ?
320. Karen: K.K.!
321. Billy: Goat
322. Sarah: Pretty and Short
323. Natalie: Buon Natale
324. Christy: I don't know any Christy...except that model.
325. Nick: Saint
326. Linda: Beautiful
327. Taylor: Dayne
328. Jordan: Air
329. Jaime: ?
330. Adrian: Brody
~Have You Ever....~
331. Mooned anyone? - No.
332. Been on a diet? - Not so much.
333. Been to a foreign country? - Several.
334. Broken a bone? - Knock on wood...
335. Swallowed a tooth/cap/filling? - No.
336. Sworn at a teacher? - I don't believe so.
337. Talked to an LJ member via e-mails or instant message? - Only Lori.
338. Gotten in a fight? - Lots of times.
339. Dated a teacher? - Ewww.
340. Laughed so hard you peed your pants? - No, fortunately not.
341. Thought about killing your enemy? - Yes.
342. Gone skinny dipping? - Probably. Checking memory banks...nope.
343. Met another LJ member in the flesh? - Probably.
344. Told a little white lie? - Just one?
345. Told a secret you swore not to tell? - I don't think so.
346. Used a foreign object to masturbate? - As in, made in China?
347. Misused a swear word and it sounded absolutely stupid? - I don't swear often. Maybe in another language.
348. Been on TV? - I sit on the TV sometimes, 'cuz I'm a cat.
349. Been on the radio? - I hope not. I sound like a kid on the phone.
350. Been in a mosh pit? - Most likely.
351. Been to a concert? - Several.
352. Dated one of your best friends? - Next question...
353. Loved someone so much it makes you cry? - Yes.
354. Deceived somebody close to you? - Wouldn't be human if I hadn't.
355. Broken the law? - Marginally, yes.
356. Been to a rodeo? - YES!
357. Been on a talk show? - In the audience.
358. Been on a game show? - Not on your life.
359. Been on an airplane? - Inside it many a time.
360. Gotten to ride on a firetruck? - Ummm...I'm not sure. Probably not.
361. Came close to dying? - Sort of.
362. Cheated on a bf/gf? - Yes.
363. Gave someone a piggy back ride? - Of course.
364. Terrorized a babysitter? - Yes.
365. Made a mud pie? - I doubt it.
366. Had a dream that you're falling off a cliff? - Every night.
367. Snuck out of the house at night? - Whose house? Yes.
368. Been so drunk you don't remember your name? - NO!
369. Had an eating disorder? - No, never felt the need.
370. Felt like you didn't belong? - Anyone who says no is lying.
371. Felt like the 3rd wheel? - Often.
372. Smoked? - Secondhand.
373. Done drugs? - Prescription only.
374. Stolen money from a poor person begging on the street? - Who wrote this survey?
375. Had your tonsils removed? - *Shudder* no.
376. Gone to camp? - Several.
377. Won a bet? - Never collected on it.
378. Written a love letter? - Many.
379. Gone out of your way to be with the one you love? - Contintent-hopping enough out of the way for you?
380. Written a love poem? - Read the poems section.
381. Kissed in the rain? - Mmmm...that was nice.
382. Slow danced with someone you love? - Yes, ma'am.
383. Participated in cyber sex? - Long distance relationship? Hello?
384. Stolen something from a store? - Not intentionally.
385. Stolen a kiss? - Thief of hearts, that's me.
386. Asked a friend for relationship advice? - All the time.
387. Had a friend steal your bf/gf? - Never.
388. Watched the sunset/rise with someone special? - Mmmm..that was the best.
389. Gotten a speeding ticket? - No, don't Jinx me. Only done 90+ in Lori's car.
390. Done jail time? - I can still be hired as a convicted felon, right?
391. Had to wear a uniform to work? - No.
392. Won a trophy? - I believe so.
393. Thrown up in public? - How public are we talking here? In front of people I don't know well? Yes.
394. Bowled a perfect game? - No, sadly, my mom's prowess as a bowler was never taught to me.
395. Failed/got held back? - I failed a quiz once in the fifth grade.
396. Gotten perfect attendance in grade school? - Not likely.
397. Roasted pumpkin seeds? - We used to.
398. Taken ballet lessons? - For 15 years.
399. Attempted suicide? - ...
400. Cut yourself? - Who hasn't gotten a little cut now and then? It's not as if I live in a bubble.
~Childhood Stuff~
401. Did you play with Barbies? - Yes. My favorite was Moroccan barbie. She had the coolest outfit and hair.
402. Did you own Treasure Trolls? - No.
403. Did you watch Beverly Hills 90210? - Only when my sister had control of the TV. And I usually ran screaming from the room.
407. Did you believe there were monsters in your closet or under your bed? - Just the Land of Lost Items.
408. Did you wear underwear with the days of the week on them? - What would be the point?
409. Were you shy? - Eventually.
410. Were you spoiled? - Not so much.
411. Were you abused? - What kind of abuse?
412. Did you go to the circus? - Sometimes. I tried to run away but I was too wild for the circus to take in.
413. Did you go to the zoo?- Yes
414. Were you ever in a car accident? - Three. But never while I was driving.
415. Did you build snowmen? - Every large snowfall.
416. Did you cry when you scraped your knee? - Probably.
417. Were your older cousins mean to you? ...
418. Did you think slinkies were cool? - They were interesting from a physics point of view.
419. Did you think the Ninja Turtles really lived in the sewer? - I was mostly able to distinguish life from movies.
420. Were you afraid of the dark? - A little bit. More afraid of the unknown.
421. Did you have slumber parties? - Yes, but a lot more sleepovers.
422. Did you have New Kids On The Block sheets, sleeping bags and pajamas? - Pajamas that I never wore. Wearing their faces on my 11-year old body seemed inappropriate and creepy.
424. Did you believe in the Easter Bunny/Santa Claus/ and the Tooth Fairy? - Santa Claus brings me gifts. The old EB brings me candy and the Tooth Fairy gave me money. Why question free stuff?
~Randomness~
425. Do you believe in aliens? - Illegal or UFO-driving?
426. Name 3 things that are next to your computer: - This computer? Unused speakers, fancy electronic key fob with changing passcode, calendar for 2005.
427. Any hidden talents? - I'm not at liberty to divulge that information.
428. Do you wish MTV would play music videos? - That would be nice.
429. If you were to star in a movie, what kind of movie would it be? - A fantasy or eerie thriller/drama.
430. What would your movie star name be? - What's wrong with Mandala Reina?
431. Do you play any sports? - Used to dance (still do, just not regularly). I play when it's warm enough to do so.
432. What's the scariest movie you've ever seen? - When I was little, Something Wicked This Way Comes.
433. What is the best movie you've seen in the theater or rented recently? - Rabbit Proof Fence.
434. What is the dumbest movie you've ever seen? - Ace Ventura movies.
435. Do you drive? - Not Miss Daisy.
436. What is your dream car? - A car.
437. What kind of car does your family most often drive? - Mazda 626 or Honda Accord.
438. Do others think you are good looking? - Shut up, Lori, you're pretty! I'm too sexy for this survey, too sexy for this sur-what?
439. Would you ever sky dive? - Let's go!
440. Do you believe in Bigfoot? - Perhaps, if I thought he had a good plan. I'm sure he'll go far in life.
442. Are you afraid of roller coasters? - Only if they hurt my neck.
443. Do you believe in God? - Good exists.
444. Do you believe in Satan? - Evil exists. Thanks, Piers Anthony.
445. Do you believe there is a heaven? - Didn't we go over this already?
446. Do you believe there is a hell? - This survey was made somewhere, right?
447. Do you own a pool table? - Actually, yes, it's downstairs buried under many other surprising things.
448. Do you have a pool? - Where would I put it?
449. Do you have a dishwasher in your kitchen? - It's a free-standing one.
450. Do you like chocolate? - Like is not a strong enough word.
451. Who/what is on your 2005 calendar? - Paintings by Native American artists.
452. Oooh, Eeeh, ooh ahh ahh, ching, chang, walla walla bing bang.
453. Wished on a shooting star? - Yes, Jiminy, now stop chirping before I step on you.
454. Best Halloween costume you ever wore? - I liked my Hindu goddess one this year.
455. Do you carry any weapons on you? - Just the knife, and that was only for a period of a few weeks.
456. What is your weakness? - Fear of failing.
457. Name something you can't get enough of: Freedom
458. Do you ever want to get married? - Probably.
459. How many kids do you want to have? - None.
460. Future daughters' names: !!
461. Future sons' names: @@
462. What is your ideal way to die? - Not to.
463. How do you release stress? - Dance like a maniac. Draw, write poetry.
464. Are you a trendy person? - No.
465. Are you an artistic person? - What does that mean, artistic person? I like the arts, and people say I am artistic, so perhaps.
466. Are you a realistic person? - Pragmatic, but I daydream all the time.
467. Do you untie your shoes every time you take them off? - Almost never.
468. Are you a strong person? - Intense.
469. Are you a strong-willed person? - Very: when it counts I won't give up.
470. Who was the last person to e-mail you? - Christine.
471. Who was the last person to IM you? - Crys, and then I bailed on him.
472. Do you hate chain e-mails? - If you send me one, you will disappear off the face of the earth.
473. Are you a deep sleeper? - Not usually.
474. Are you a good story teller? - On paper more so than in person, but I'm working on it.
475. What do you believe is your best quality? - Creativity. Adaptability and Resourcefulness.
476. What is your greatest accomplishment? - Membership in PBK (*blush*). Dance recitals, too.
477. Do you like to burn candles or incense? - Candles. Vanilla, preferably.
479. Do you have your own credit card? - I have one.
480. Let's say you win the lotto. What do you do with all that money? - How much money? Let's say 25 million, which means you actually get 12 million. So, I pay off my family's debts, help them repair both houses, and be with my love. Save, start up a business maybe, give some away, give some to family and friends.
481. Do you have a checkbook? - Several.
482. Do you like your driver's license picture? - I don't mind being 16, but it's off-center.
484. What color is your hair naturally? - Dark brown with red highlights.
486. How many cavities did you have at your last dentist visit? - Don't remind me.
487. Is the glass half full or half empty? - I drink straight from the bottle. Fortunately, my drink of choice is water. Right now, that glass looks pretty mid-way to me. Want to measure with me?
489. Worst feeling in the world? - Hopelessness.
488. Best feeling in the world? - Euphoria so intense it fills you and lifts you up, makes you feel like you're floating. Mine comes from dancing or being with loved ones. I also like laughing so hard you can't breathe right.
489. Last website you were at? - Mine.
490. Last thing you downloaded? - Something for work.
491. Do you catch yourself using online terms in your real life? - Never.
492. What do you think people think of you? - Whatever they want to think.
493. Are you a likeable person? - Not usually. TRAP DOOR with the Sunshine thing, alright?
494. Do you need therapy? - Everyone does... If you don't, there's something wrong with you. <-- Right, Lori.
495. Do you take medication for a chemical imbalance? - Not yet.
496. What the best way to propose to someone? - With an open, honest heart and a ring.
497. What kind of movie would you star in? - We went over this already...
498. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge? - They would be Fed Up. Ha! Or FUX.
499. What's your favorite phrase? - Cálmate.
500. What are you thinking right now? - I love my new body lotion.
501. What character/characters in literature do you identify with? - Mercutio in Romeo and Juliet, Marcela in Don Quijote de la Mancha.
502. What movie character or characters do you identify with? - I'll have to think about this one.
Oh, God, why did I do that? That was insane. Well, anyway, I'm wiped. Peace out.
Wednesday 15 December 2004
Life is Neither Good nor Evil
I might be getting a raise! And I am most definitely getting a bonus, a nice one. Yay! Yippee! Means I can buy a ticket to Chile without killing my bank account.
Whatever life is, right now, it's good. Which, makes me nervous. Seems like the good and bad have to balance out for most mere mortals. Unless you're a Golden Child (I know a few) or an EUP (Extremely Unlucky Person, of which I know a few as well). But I have been mostly lucky in my life so far. It's usually been my idiotic actions that cause me trouble. Usually.
Temporary Soundtrack: Canto Canto - Natalia Oreiro
Quote Trapped in My Head: "I'd sell my rock // I'd sell my reel // I'd sell my only spinning wheel, to buy my love a sword of steel // Is go dté tú mo mhúirnín slán" - Suíil a Rúin
Whatever life is, right now, it's good. Which, makes me nervous. Seems like the good and bad have to balance out for most mere mortals. Unless you're a Golden Child (I know a few) or an EUP (Extremely Unlucky Person, of which I know a few as well). But I have been mostly lucky in my life so far. It's usually been my idiotic actions that cause me trouble. Usually.
Thursday 2 December 2004
Soft Box
I had forgotten
that for you
capturing my wings
is but a moment's work
I am thoughtlessly
chased, stilled and grounded
all with one breath
from your cold lips
With a swift wave
from your clawed hands
you close the door
on this soft box of life
Now my iridescence
is long gone; it has
left me to my dark
where I beat my fists in vain
~~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~~
Let Someone Else Make Up The Rhymes... <-- More Poetry
that for you
capturing my wings
is but a moment's work
I am thoughtlessly
chased, stilled and grounded
all with one breath
from your cold lips
With a swift wave
from your clawed hands
you close the door
on this soft box of life
Now my iridescence
is long gone; it has
left me to my dark
where I beat my fists in vain
~~~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~~
Let Someone Else Make Up The Rhymes... <-- More Poetry
Puebla, Mexico, and Turkeys
My whole theme, if you will, for my trip to Mexico (realized on 14th Noviembre, returning 20th Noviembre, late at night) was to be friendly, open, really happy and upbeat. In short, a ball of professional sunshine, but getting to know everyone outside of work. The people were so nice, and never let me pay, and showed me all the best parts of Puebla, the town, and kept telling me how little I ate and encouraging me to talk and be part of their group. I had fun, I did, being this really outgoing version of myself, accommodating and nice, always happy. It was so exhausting, though. I'd come back to my hotel room wiped all the time.
Maybe that sounds a little selfish, but I'm just not a person people call "Sunshine" (insert two instances in my life as exception here, then move on). Being so open and easy-going does not come naturally to me. I am secretive, with good reason. I am cold, and outside, and apart from a lot of things in this world. As Emblem related to me recently, I am nothing if not intense. Just, an intense personality, as she put it. Every emotion keenly felt and rippling beneath my blank exterior, which I have in recent years let fall by the wayside. To display an actual personality, any emotion but anger, took me years to accomplish. And I still have to work at it.
Slam back from the introspection into diary mode. SLAM! At least I warned you.
Thanksgiving was good, better than I though it would be, with my aunt and uncle and my step-cousin and her boyfriend. Pilgrim pie is my favorite thing to eat around the holidays. I could be happy eating a ton of my aunt's homemade mashed potatoes and even more of my mom's pilgrim pie with mounds of fresh-made whipped cream. That is, quite literally, a slice of heaven with clouds on top. We sat around and played Sequence until we all were too tired to count to five, then trundled off to bed. I woke up early and spent time with my ever-more distant aunt, though that time is never as sweet as it used to be when I was a young girl who woke up early to watch TV and cuddle on the couch with her. The choices she has made, the husband she has married so late in her life, the way they all tolerate muy insufferable trashy step-cousin, all pull me away from her. It has always been said that I am a younger version of her, with my fiery temper and sarcastic nature, our luck at games, our silliness. That bond has been stretched. Not broken, but distorted, a mere shadow of itself. And it is like a dull ache when I see her, asking to be renewed. She started cutting it, absentmindedly, unintentionally, and I just pulled on the string, like a kite striving to see the world, unheeding of the holder of the handle. That's life as a kite. Capricious, unintentionally cruel, and inanimate. Straining without logic against the only bonds that hold you up, keep you aloft, keep you safe from trees, and from losing yourself in the clouds.
Makes a certain sort of sense that I should be such an intense flyer. I always did like losing myself in the clouds.
Ready? Wait for it.... SLAM!
Gotcha!
We finally booked our trip for San Francisco! We're leaving on my birthday and coming back on the second. Amid jokes of see you next year, which I always forget, and always make me laugh to hear. I'll be 24. One of my favorite numbers. Magic number. Number of hours in a day, according to human time. Divisible evenly by 1,2,3,4,6,8,12, and, of course, 24. I want poke cake for my birthday, but I doubt I can convince my mom to make it for me. It's just the yummiest, even if it is humble and involves jello. And cannot compare to my mom's pilgrim pie. And eggnog. I never really enjoyed eggnog when I was little. Too plain for me. But I discovered a sudden, inexplicable taste for it last year during the holidays. With lots of nutmeg. Intense flavor for an intense gal.
Hopefully I can visit H., mi rey, mi acushla, in January. My boss mentioned a possible raise (oh, for joy) but who knows. If it comes down to it, I'd rather he bought me a computer or a lifetime's supply of airline tickets. Maybe I'll bring H. a celtic ring. I have my own claddagh ring, given to me not by a great love but as a graduation present from an Irish (that is, from Ireland) cousin I can't recall meeting. My dad's side, that would be. I love it but I am bad at rings, I can't ever quite get comfortable wearing them. Case in point, my lightest-of-light gold ring, which has H.'s name and the date he gave it to me, which matches his ring, also feather-light and thin. I want to take the heart off my neck and replace it with the ring, but he'd rather I not, considering that's a symbol of rejection where he comes from. Anyway, maybe I'll get him a manly claddagh, or a celtic knot ring. I'll bring his parents the blanket I got in Mexico, him the tees and other gifts, and hope that will be enough.
Mom's party on Friday, Hanging of the Greens on Saturday, and caroling on Sunday. I'd say I'm booked. For a little while each day at least. Oh, no! I have to climb into the crawlspace attic to get all the Christmas stuff down. AND bring it up from downstairs. I hit my head at least twice. It's tradition. I just hope I can find the hard hat this year...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Unhelpful quote of the day: "Fa la la la-aaah, screw it."
Maybe that sounds a little selfish, but I'm just not a person people call "Sunshine" (insert two instances in my life as exception here, then move on). Being so open and easy-going does not come naturally to me. I am secretive, with good reason. I am cold, and outside, and apart from a lot of things in this world. As Emblem related to me recently, I am nothing if not intense. Just, an intense personality, as she put it. Every emotion keenly felt and rippling beneath my blank exterior, which I have in recent years let fall by the wayside. To display an actual personality, any emotion but anger, took me years to accomplish. And I still have to work at it.
Slam back from the introspection into diary mode. SLAM! At least I warned you.
Thanksgiving was good, better than I though it would be, with my aunt and uncle and my step-cousin and her boyfriend. Pilgrim pie is my favorite thing to eat around the holidays. I could be happy eating a ton of my aunt's homemade mashed potatoes and even more of my mom's pilgrim pie with mounds of fresh-made whipped cream. That is, quite literally, a slice of heaven with clouds on top. We sat around and played Sequence until we all were too tired to count to five, then trundled off to bed. I woke up early and spent time with my ever-more distant aunt, though that time is never as sweet as it used to be when I was a young girl who woke up early to watch TV and cuddle on the couch with her. The choices she has made, the husband she has married so late in her life, the way they all tolerate muy insufferable trashy step-cousin, all pull me away from her. It has always been said that I am a younger version of her, with my fiery temper and sarcastic nature, our luck at games, our silliness. That bond has been stretched. Not broken, but distorted, a mere shadow of itself. And it is like a dull ache when I see her, asking to be renewed. She started cutting it, absentmindedly, unintentionally, and I just pulled on the string, like a kite striving to see the world, unheeding of the holder of the handle. That's life as a kite. Capricious, unintentionally cruel, and inanimate. Straining without logic against the only bonds that hold you up, keep you aloft, keep you safe from trees, and from losing yourself in the clouds.
Makes a certain sort of sense that I should be such an intense flyer. I always did like losing myself in the clouds.
Ready? Wait for it.... SLAM!
Gotcha!
We finally booked our trip for San Francisco! We're leaving on my birthday and coming back on the second. Amid jokes of see you next year, which I always forget, and always make me laugh to hear. I'll be 24. One of my favorite numbers. Magic number. Number of hours in a day, according to human time. Divisible evenly by 1,2,3,4,6,8,12, and, of course, 24. I want poke cake for my birthday, but I doubt I can convince my mom to make it for me. It's just the yummiest, even if it is humble and involves jello. And cannot compare to my mom's pilgrim pie. And eggnog. I never really enjoyed eggnog when I was little. Too plain for me. But I discovered a sudden, inexplicable taste for it last year during the holidays. With lots of nutmeg. Intense flavor for an intense gal.
Hopefully I can visit H., mi rey, mi acushla, in January. My boss mentioned a possible raise (oh, for joy) but who knows. If it comes down to it, I'd rather he bought me a computer or a lifetime's supply of airline tickets. Maybe I'll bring H. a celtic ring. I have my own claddagh ring, given to me not by a great love but as a graduation present from an Irish (that is, from Ireland) cousin I can't recall meeting. My dad's side, that would be. I love it but I am bad at rings, I can't ever quite get comfortable wearing them. Case in point, my lightest-of-light gold ring, which has H.'s name and the date he gave it to me, which matches his ring, also feather-light and thin. I want to take the heart off my neck and replace it with the ring, but he'd rather I not, considering that's a symbol of rejection where he comes from. Anyway, maybe I'll get him a manly claddagh, or a celtic knot ring. I'll bring his parents the blanket I got in Mexico, him the tees and other gifts, and hope that will be enough.
Mom's party on Friday, Hanging of the Greens on Saturday, and caroling on Sunday. I'd say I'm booked. For a little while each day at least. Oh, no! I have to climb into the crawlspace attic to get all the Christmas stuff down. AND bring it up from downstairs. I hit my head at least twice. It's tradition. I just hope I can find the hard hat this year...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Unhelpful quote of the day: "Fa la la la-aaah, screw it."
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