Body

Dear body of mine,
I must apologize for mistreating you
for putting in you
what I should have spit out
cholesterol and pills
bad food and worse people
defeated thoughts and
dirty habits that stuck
gum-like in the stomach
rotting in you for years
and
always too much salt with
not enough sugar.

For not letting you run
ungainly and hurtling
down grassy slopes or
none-too-carefully through
forests clogged with foot-traps or
letting you leap, uncontrolled
uproariously
when I felt the restlessness
singing a rhythm in my limbs
and
for dancing too much for others
and not enough for us.

For occasionally despising you
wishing parts of you away - all that
time spent in front of the
mirrors of others' eyes
I could not see the beauty in you
meant only for mine
then expecting you to serve me
when I needed you again
kept you living for
one look of satisfaction that
when given, only meant
I congratulated myself.

For falling when you wanted to climb
for resting when you wanted to push
for the disconnect between body and mind
between love of you, body and body-love
for the fire,
for the blame,
for the wire,
for the pain
for never forgiving that one time
we fell, slipped, bobbled
for letting you take the risks and
reaping the rewards with your hands.

Yet I know you forgive me;
what can cells do but reconnect?
I more than love you, so
forgive me when I
do it all again tomorrow; but, someday:
I will push off
from the earth
into the shock of waves
swim kick and float
into the deep, into a bright sun
until you have peace.

~~~~~~~AEW~~~~~~~~~~~~~