The one I bought: Too Loud, Too Bright, Too Fast, Too Tight : What to Do If You Are Sensory Defensive in an Overstimulating World
The Highly Sensitive Person
The Highly Sensitive Person's Survival Guide: Essential Skills for Living Well in an Overstimulating World
And, a little farther afield (insert eerie music here):
Empowered by Empathy : 25 Ways to Fly in Spirit
The H.I.S.S. of the A.S.P: Understanding the Anomalously Sensitive Person
I'm not attempting to claim empathy or psychic ability - far from it. I do think that a reading of the first few books would make a nice compliment to anyone interested in empathy or unusual sensory abilities.
Nor am I claiming any sort of Sentinel-esque abilities. What I do know is that, based on my own experiences and reading, I may exhibit some traits of sensory defensiveness and high sensitivity.
Sensory defensiveness involves not only finely tuned senses, but a heightened reaction of the body's nervous system to sensory stimuli. So what 'most' people feel and dismiss, or ignore, or never feel, is a major disruption to the sensory defensive. People can be affected in different ways: some SDs (sensory defensives) are thrill-seekers, hyperactive, with short attention spans (because other stimuli are impossible for the brain/body to ignore). Others are introverts, eschewing loud noises, bright lights, touch, and other people in general. Some people react only to sound or touch; others are equally affected by all senses. The point is that to tell an SD to 'ignore' a sensory problem or that 'you'll adjust' does no good - the nervous system will not allow an SD to rest or become accustomed to changes in one's environment, as it keeps feeding the body with messages that it is in danger.
Highly sensitive people - not an official medical condition, at least not yet, by the way - react extremely strongly to physical and emotional stimuli. What seems like a minor setback to some people can be a devastating blow to an HSP. 'Mood swings' are fed by over-active or over-reporting senses - senses that keep stimulating the nervous system to a fight-or-flight reaction, in the case of an SD, and internal-external reactions (amorous love, bitter hate) to an HSP. HSPs also have an intricate, richly developed internal life - imagination, artistic passion or vision, or even just an appreciation for nature or beauty.
The last two books on my list carry this idea to another level - the idea that some people are empaths, at least more than the norm (I can tell you're upset by the tension in the air and your body language, but feeling the anger in an empty room, left by someone who's no longer there, borders on psychic/empathic energy). This is an intriguing subject, but the first few topics interest me more.
Personal experience:
I dislike bland foods, the texture of certain foods, and the taste of others (tuna drives me up the wall with nausea and even fear). I like spices and sweets, the more extreme, the better. However, when I burn my tongue, it will stay sandpapery for days. If I brush too hard or too long (leave a toothbrush in my mouth too long), my tongue will be sandpapery for days. I always wake up with a bad taste in my mouth, and brush my teeth even when I get up in the middle of the night to use the restroom.
My hearing is acute. I often say I have "the hearing of a chihuahua on crack" - which turns out to be an appropriate analogy, given the 'fight or flight' connection that SDs experience. Certain voices, pitches, and noises are intolerable. They make me jump out of my skin with annoyance, fear, or spine-tinglingly unpleasant reaction. A "shush"-ing noise will put me on edge - imagine the most irritating feeling in your ear and echoing in your mind, and that will give you an idea of what "shush" does to me. That doesn't mean I will curl up in a ball and cry on the ground - but SDs have been known to show impatience, unprovoked anger, and other symptoms of discomfort when confronted with unwanted or painful stimuli. Some people have voices that will make me twitch - they may be loud, or oddly pitched, or perfectly normal - the problem lies in what my ear hears and triggers inside me, not in the outside world.
Some SDs like being wrapped up tight while sleeping; others cannot bear even the weight of a sheet. When I mentioned this to Emblem, she immediately said: "Your stuffed animals!", meaning the way I line my body with pillows and/or stuffed toys. The temperature has to be just right, I have to be covered from prying eyes, but my face must be cool, my hair back, no socks on my feet. I refuse to wear pajama pants since they ride up on my calves, so I opt for skirts and lightweight wraps that don't make my torso unpleasantly warm. I don't mind being hugged tightly while sleeping, but the feel of someone's breath on me annoys me - if it's warm air, it's even worse. I am conscious of the slightest change in pressure from a touch. I don't mind tight clothes, as long as they are not itchy, and years of dance have taught me to ignore painful shoes. Tags bother me if they're anywhere but on the neckline. It took me years to get used to pressure on my neck from turtlenecks, scarves, or necklaces. I can almost never get used to the feel of wearing rings, but I will shower and sleep with earrings and bracelets. I also shock people (electrically) and myself a lot. But that's a tale for another day.
Smells don't bother me as much as my other senses can, but I do need for my hands to always smell good. I like to have perfumes on me at all times, and I can't stand the smell of scalp skin (which I can smell sometimes on other people, and can't really explain, just that it smells like that person). Tuna makes me nauseous, as does fake cheese smell (the kind on cheese puffs), but I can't get enough of the smell of lilacs or spices like chili powder.
In summary, I find some disruptions impossible to ignore, to adjust to, to tolerate. Imagine the senses as a biting insect, one that, instead of biting and letting go, bites, varies the pressure, moves a bit, bites again, uses teeth sometimes and claws other times. That's a little like being sensory defensive. As for the HSP aspect - hmmm.
You might read this (or you might not, so what?) and think that everyone has things that bug them, noises, smells, tastes one cannot stand. True. The difference lies in how you react/adjust to things - and for an SD or HSP, it's often out of one's conscious control. That's always been my problem - a need to be in control of myself and what's being done to me at all times.
My reaction to whatever - whether being an SD or HSP, or something else - was to shut. down. completely. As to whether that was a protection against overstimulation or something else - who knows? I like this book, and it may be helpful to me. All of my pursuits have unwittingly helped me cope with my world - dance, especially ballet, teaches the body control and stoicism; singing controls the breath and nervousness; art provides an HSP with an outlet for emotional buildup.
There, that was more information than you were prepared for, wasn't it? Good. I hope you learned your lesson never to express interest in anything I say/write again.
I'm filling up with what they feel
so much that what's left of me
slinks out the bottom"
P.S.: I just realized the last poem I wrote connects to this newfound discovery. It was consciously inspired not by these books, but rather by salt and vinegar potato chips, which literally sparked a memory when I put one in my mouth.
