Of Notes and Parts...

Why, oh, why, do they want me to play my trumpet on Easter for my church? A duet with my friend's dad, who happens to be a trombonist? Which means I'm spending my spare time transposing for my B-flat Bach Strad. I sound absolutely horrible, since I had not played in over three years until I picked up my metallic appendage a week ago. I think I might keep up the playing, though. It's good for my creative muscles to think once in a while.

Shocked the heck out of H. when I told him, though; he claims I never mentioned just how much I used to play. I'm just not one for playing up my strengths or my weaknesses, I guess. Besides, I've always felt it's better not to dwell on the past when we've got so many other things to deal with.

So I played for him over webcam. It's so strange how at home I feel with my trumpet in my hand. Not to wax poetic or anything, but the smell of valve oil, the coldness of the horn, the pain in my cheeks and lips after playing, all take me back. I remember learning to play, taking lessons, marching, and finally packing up the instrument for good. I played for ten years of my life; not nearly as much as I did dance for, but enough to make it like coming home every time I start to play.

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On another note (pun pun pun!):

I think I pissed off two of my friends in the span of a week. Just by being who I am, and generally getting in the way or not being there enough. Oh, and embarassed a third to no end - though I had help on that one.
So far, my MOA - Mission of Avoidance has been rather successful, but eventually someone is going to corner me. It just really struck me deeply what one of my friends said to me

You see, I know you've been worried about me for a while now, mostly because I let you see something was amiss; I had meditated on the possibility of letting you help me. But don't you see, you have your own things to worry about, and I am so strong that I can deal with anything life throws at me, that I can't need anyone else. I can't let you in, clue you in, let you know just what thoughts I've been nurturing in my head. Don't you see? You're better off not knowing the bad in life. I like to keep it all sweetness and light for you. I think you're so much better than I am, and when I think on all I've done, I don't want you to know those things, those parts of me.
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P.S. Happy Birthday Amna (yesterday). Another country represented, another friend lost.

Temporary Soundtrack: Gunship Politico ~ State Radio.
Quote Trapped in My Head: "I blinded my eyes,My face I turned away,I hardened my heart. For fear of my ruin." ~ The Wishing Well ~ Connie Dover